I am aggravated ether
in the moment
so I can't sleep on it
enigma dramatic
bathed in acid & oil

& all the clouds in the sky
are mostly smoke
blown in consoling faces
dole full in the wasteland.

dam & sire fanning the fire
in the furnace
lighted up for days.
they didn't know it could
turn around & burn us.

oh but,
I'm not learned enough.

all the **** while I'm
taking it all in.

three sixty, panorama.

light a ******* candle
& put me up on the mantle
when the mainframe scrambles
&don;'t let me down til
they've figured out time travel.

I won't have any of this.

still in my soul I am savagery.
& these bad *** habits
are all tragedies
considering the fact
that I can make magic
if I see it fitting
to the situation.

which doesn't clique
with certain niches,
they get kinda ******
...they shouldn't.
it's all ******* anyway.


sun slivers.


new day.

When I try to explain to my mom how I feel, she tells me the same thing. Make friends. I say "mom,I feel alone". "Make friends" "Mom, I have nobody." "Make friends" "Mom, I've cried myself to sleep every night for the past 4 months." "Make friends"  
WELL MOM, I would love to make friends. That's part of my problem really. But friendships only evolve when somebody else feels the same as you and considering just HOW ****** UP I AM I WILL NEVER HAVE FRIENDS. I don't choose to be lonely god if only making people like me was really that easy. I hate who I am I hate the people I call my friends I hate random people I see in the halls I HATE EVERY ******* SOUL. AND I HATE IT. I hate how I cry watching my friends hanging out even though they invited me earlier that day. It's kinda funny really, I choose to be alone but I don't want to be lonely . I watch my friends bonding over people who love them. They laugh and smile, they share secrets, they hug each other, memories are made. I watch them wondering when I'll get that.

I should've told you
How much i loved you
But now its over
And  im crying
Every Night in my dreams
I dream of your face
The taste of your lips
The feel you give me
When you touch me
Now you are with her
And not with me
And the only thing i can do
Is stop thinking of you

Many friends gorge
during holidays,
stuffing stuffing in their mouth space
forcing fried flightless birds in their face
along with assortments of steamed greens
guzzling fermented bubbles of hops or grapes
until engulfed in the glazed-eye coma nap
as their bulbous bellies slowly bouey back and forth.

Before passing out, some might remark about convalescing a food baby,
to which I've often wondered
if said baby is born when they take a ****?
Is it still a food baby or has it grown to a **** baby?
Why don't they nurture said **** baby so it can grow
and get into a ****** school and then a **** job?

I put my heart on a string
and gave it to you
as a necklace

You hung it from the ceiling
and beat it half to death
like a ****** pinata

Wrapped it around your finger
and yanked it up and down
like a macabre yo-yo

I swallowed all of the pain and
it tasted like hairspray

like chewing up eggshells
like biting aluminum foil
like licking pennies

I don't even want my heart back
please just please **** it now
step on it wearing stilettos

I just want to be whispers in your mind
I want to be a spider on the back of your skull
I want the curse of remembrance upon your soul

My brain is over heating.
I think my head  might ******* pop.
When I lean out this window,
My torso wants to drop.
I know I going crazy,
So why won't it stop?