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Holly M Feb 2019
Wouldn’t it be nice
To unscrew your head
When it all becomes too much?
I would put it in the corner
Of my closet
Next to the old shoes
And articles I’m not bold enough to wear
So I could get a break
From the tsunami thoughts raging inside.
And it would all be quiet.
Then I would pick it back up, and
***** it back on my neck
When my shoulders are strong enough
To bear the weight once again.

Wouldn’t it be nice
To unzip your skin
When you’re crawling and itching
To get out?
I would lay it down
Where it wouldn’t get
Too *****
And I would stand with my
Arms open wide
As I feel the wind
Rattle around my old bones.
And I would be free.
Then I would pick it up,
Dust it off, and
Put it back on when I got chilly.

Wouldn’t it be nice
To hide your mouth
When it pains you to smile?
I would put in the bathroom drawer
Next to my contacts
And the makeup I use to
Mask my insecurities.
And all would be calm.
Then I would pull it out, and
Place it back on my face
Once my cheeks have stopped hurting
And I am ready to greet the day once again.
Except a smile doesn’t mean a **** thing
When you can see the melancholy pools
In my eyes.
I guess it’s not a perfect solution.
Holly M Dec 2018
Blue skies,
Clear, endless, and free;
Sunflowers standing tall,
Unyielding to the wind;
Daisy chains,
Woven carefully just for me;
Fluffy, funny little puppies,
Floppy ears, big paws, and wagging tails;
Car windows down, driving fast,
Arm out the window, wind whipping my hair;
Singing at the top of our lungs,
Our own personal concert;
Breathless laughter brings me to the brink,
Ribs hurting, stomach aching, and heart full;
Smiles so wide my cheeks my break,
And if they do, it would be okay;
Shared looks, silently saying we understand each other,
Your eyes are a one-way mirror to my heart;
Holding hands in the dark,
This beautiful braid of fingers;
Sitting with a circle of friends,
Knowing that that we all belong to each other;
Succulent strawberries,
Sweet and ****, juice dribbling down chins;
Splitting a chocolate bar with a friend,
Simple, pure, and rich;
A pretty sundress,
Sun on my shoulders and a pep in my step;
A good eyeliner day,
Sharp, precise, and controlled;
A really good song,
Reverberating through my soul, written just for me;
Laying with you, eyes closed,
Not wanting to be anywhere else;
This is what I think happiness is.
Holly M Oct 2018
I want to see you in the summer
Sitting at the edge
With our feet in the water.
The ice creams in our hands melt
As the temperature gets hotter.
We don’t speak as we eat,
But we don’t have to,
Because the silence between us is not uncomfortable.

I want to see you in the moonlight
When we would walk so far that my feet bled,
Our eyes fixed on the road ahead-
But you walk close to me
And turn on your flashlight
Because you know that I am scared of the dark.

I want to see you in during autumn
When the leaves are the color of your hair.
Your words are so carefree it’s not even fair.
We look cozy in sweaters;
I’d be cozier if I was closer to you,
But you forge a path ahead,
And I follow you.

I want to see you illuminated
A dim glow cast on your features
By a 1980s horror film.
It doesn’t scare me, yet I wish it did
Because then maybe you would hold me,
But I wouldn’t pretend, because to you I would not lie.
This is just a movie between two friends: you and I.

I want to see you in the wintertime
Red cheeks and nose
Mine are too,
But not from the cold-
I think about these things as I’m hit by a snowball from you.
You laugh while I pretend to be mad
As the cold infiltrates my shirt,
But I don’t feel it,
Because we all know that I’m burning for you.

I want to see you every which way
Dressed up, dressed down;
Distressed or acting like a clown;
Excited, acting with reckless abandon;
Content, allowing me to see you undone.
I want to see it all,
But right now, I want to see you.
Holly M Oct 2018
I’ve lived my life in the pursuit of the truth,
(You can’t handle the truth.)
Constantly looking for an ounce of proof
To confirm my narrative.
(****, you’d be a good politician-
If only you had the stomach for it.)

I’ve lived my life inside my head
(Tell me about this place you live-
Is the space a shoebox or ******* massive?)
Fighting my corner until my knuckles bled.
(Your knuckles bled, eh?
Surprised you put in that much effort.)

I’ve lived my life trying to be right
Because to be anything else
Is unacceptable
And frankly, it is not in my blood.
(Oh, sweetheart, there are a lot of things
That are not in your blood.
If only you knew-)

I’ve ignored so much
In pursuit of the truth,
In pursuit of my truth.
I’ve walked with my eyes and ears closed
Assuming that the cars would miss me
If I wander too far to the left.
A lot of the time my pursuits fail,
But a lot of the time I am successful.
This time, I have read all the books
And my senses are opened.
So please tell me, how come
When I’m proven right,
When I’ve gotten what I wanted,
It cuts me just as deep as when I’m wrong?

(You seek the truth,
But you do not truly seek it.
You seek the easy truth,
The convenient truth.
But sometimes, that truth does not exist
And you must brace yourself for that.
You are capable of that,
For you are stronger than you realize.
To hurt is not to be wrong,
It is to be human,
To feel,
To be alive
And be aware of the fact-
Not such a bad thing to be,
If you ask me.)
Holly M Sep 2018
You were a kindly ear when no one was here;
You saw me shaking and took away my fear;
You were a shoulder to lean on when I was weak;
You blew away the clouds when all was bleak;
You make me feel like I have important words to say;
A compliment from you can make my whole day;
When you saw that tears were imminent,
You took me in your arms and said, “You were brilliant;”
You make me feel wanted, one-of-a-kind,
And you’re the best friend I can find;
Your eyes are a work of art,
They’re a one-way mirror - we share the same heart;
If that’s not what a soulmate is,
Then I don’t know where else to start.
Dedicated to T.S., the best of the best <3
Holly M Sep 2018
Blank page;
Early age;
Trying to set aside my rage-
But all I find is sorrow.

My lips sing the same old tune;
Passersby stare at me like I'm a loon;
Perhaps they wouldn't if I found a new song to croon-
Maybe you've got one I can borrow.

In the streets, we walk so close;
In my head are a thousand poems I'll never compose;
But I know I'll never be your morning rose-
Cupid must have missed when he shot his arrow.

Tonight I lay in my bed,
Thinking of all the words I have and haven't said,
Wishing I'd just opened my mouth instead-
Maybe I'll have better luck tomorrow.
Holly M Aug 2018
You are not demure.
Your vocabulary is not pure.
But baby, I'd just like to say
That I wouldn't have it
Any other way.

They look at you and say,
"Pretty girl, but I wish
Her **** were as big
As her mouth is."
But I don't.

I love the way
You wear your hair,
Like you just don't care,
Like you are a lion,
And this is your mane.
I love the way
Your eyes are sea blue
And you haven't got a clue
How these little details
Drive me insane.

They look at you and say,
"Pretty girl, but I wish
She took more pride
So she looked as good outside
As she does on the inside.
Maybe if she took her head
Out of that book, then
Her neck wouldn't be so bent.
Then she'd look heaven-sent."
But I don't.

Don't get me wrong-
I don't love everything about you.
You laugh too loud and too shrill,
You argue even when the point is nil.
Your eyes are too big for your face,
Sometimes your jokes are out of place.
You're regular hurricane of a girl,
But sweetheart, I love severe weather.

So honey, if
What they want is a
Pretty girl
To live in a pretty world,
Hair in a messy (in a cute way) bun,
Skin kissed by the sun,
Coke bottle figure
Who's never pulled the trigger,
Cherry lipsmack kiss
Only knows of bliss,
Then so be it.

They can keep
All of the pretty girls
Living in pretty worlds
Who have given up their goals
And sold their souls,
Because I don't want any part.
Love, it's always been you
I've wanted from the start.
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