Change Time
Do some reps miss the selling?
When they’re between call centre jobs
Not able to close a sale for B2B
Or get a Sirius XM radio upgrade
What of reps doing tech support
Fixing broken TVs and infra-red heaters

Same **** different shift on and on
Dial dial inbound joy call queuing
Sup call where’s your TL?
They’re MIA having a secret smoke
While the reps struggle on
This shift the same as before
Nothing new to learn here
They don’t wanna report in

But must or get sanctioned
They dream of a sales job
Actually being good at it
Getting top box metrix and sales
Walking with pride enjoying work
Looking forward to each shift
Not like tech support Hell!
Time for a change

Kookie
The job got really kookie
2 almost sales in a day
Both failed at the VT stage
1 was the wrong business name
Plus a scheduled meeting
1 was a customer sick of holding
Who chatted with his pal
The calls added to a prior 1
This cx wanted the service
On a future date not today
Call me back in a week
2 sales that never were
A 3rd if the cx still agrees
After checking 48 rivals
VOIP service is fierce
Getting sales is gold dust
Another day of bad juju
Tomorrow will be different
Will tomorrow soon come?

Bangkok Beasting
The Fake God is there with the other bosses
All having a powwow to decide what to do
We are dragged in there and lectured hard
The client wants more sales as do I
This you must do for June July and beyond

The target is 130 and you’ve just 18
You need a 1200 percent increase
Can you do this in 2 weeks yes or no?
I said yes but if we don’t we are all ******
The client can pull out in September
Instead of renewing the contract

The Fake God said Brian you remember
Yes Boss I remember a year ago
We got the contract and must again
I don’t wanna be part of a failure
The other boss said the client can
Bill us 2 months higher rates if we fail

Do I move the account elsewhere?
The real boss asked in another beasting
As much as I dislike Fake God’s attitude
I respect his sales skills and drive
The ****** will take us all to Hell

The real boss will observe us all
Away we go in this B2B **** up
It certainly gave Brian writing material
Tho he wished he was still in Manila
And not being beasted in Bangkok

bad tl
a certain team leader/was obsessed with cash/bumping up his metric/any which was he could/legal or borderline illegal/the tales of his was known/he did it in six centres/greed and metric manipulation/not a good example of a good sup/when you meet this snake/watch him closely/he has no conscience/is good at his job/manipulating people and the system/see the car he drives/wears different trainers each day/i'd rather have nothing/than be like him

Freebies
Look how happy the reps are
Eating the free pizza
Given by the client
Some reps have 1 piece
Another ate 16 pieces
Talk about greedy!
Free coffee was given
As only coffee went with pizza
On a call centre night shift
Plus Pepsi cold 2 litres
Wish it was drink all you can
Don’t be selfish now!
Think of your team mates
You're on the account together
Nobody will be left behind
Or so they say in training
When nesting is passed
And production starts
It's obvious who makes it
Right now enjoy the free pizza
Given by the client
The new reps are happy
Will it soon change?

28 Users
It was only the 2nd work day of the month
He had exceeded the monthly sales targets
In just 2 days it broke all records
He got a 3 user sale on day 1
And on day 2 he got a 25 user sale!
The biggest user count in the account
It was like is this real?
Now he wanted more success...

Metallica Calls
The guy listens to Metallica online while taking calls off customers
His TL knows of this and lets him do it for the rep gets good sales
Each and every day 4 or more sales earning a nice incentive
Rewards and Recognition days are a breeze he sells the items
Coffee makers toasters microwaves rice cookers fridges etc
He could have his own kitchen wares distribution company
All due to top metrix while listening to Metallica online

Lick Not Bite
Where is the sale?
Hiding in the sky
Quick reach up
Get the sale now!
Poor agents no sale
Time for a meeting
Then coaching session
And call monitoring
Are they following?
Teach them then
Spoon feed them
So they get more sales
Aren’t outlying agents
With 0 or just 1 sale
With 7 or 8 or more
Poor little reps
Always stressed on calls
Pushed to extremes
Sales account joy!

NTE Yourself!
NTEs were given out each month
To the reps with low or no sales
In time there were no reps on the account
The Fake God was left alone
Just him and his support to call
They each wanted two fifty k a month
To do the work of ten reps
It was physically impossible
But they went for it and failed
Would they give NTEs to themselves?

Big Fat 0
The rep ended the year with 0 sales
There were 10 selling reps in total
9 got sales and 1 didn’t get any
The other 9 got between 1 and 11
Number 10 rep was pegged at 0
He got 7 sales in October
And 5 in November but before then
Both August and September were 0
Why are the rep’s sales up and down?
He doesn’t know and does his best
He would have 2 or 3 but they VT failed
Verification Team issues out of his hands
He will try to close his Dec ones in Jan
He’s determined never to be bottom with 0 again