Managers’ Monday
The agents dial the leads and opportunities to try to get sales
One rep has 77 manual dials and no more
Another had 47 manual dials plus 340 outbound dials
Others have similar numbers none under 200
The 88 rep got beasted off his sup for laziness
And was made to promise to step up and do more calls
Each agent had to count then report the call numbers
The TL added them to a data sheet to review
And pass it to the Managers who managed all this crap
Their TL had to explain the discrepancy in call numbers
Each agent knew it was a futile childish process
The bosses all had access to the agents’ diallers  
All they had to do was filter and tally the calls
The agents grumbled it was a stupid pointless act
Did they know the bosses were testing them?
To see how they would react under pressure
And having to deal with stupid pointless orders
Which were all recorded real time on the system?
The bosses liked games and numbers so were fine
With this little exercise that highlighted one lazy rep
He would be triple beasted and fired if he did it again
It was Managers’ Monday and all deliberate

Power Mad
The power mad manager threatened to fire the worker
Who made a customer’s account so he could get the sale
This never happened for the manager saw it happen
Cancelled the new account almost fired the worker
Never said well done for using initiative or adeptness
He was power tripping made an example of him
Nobody will create a new account without my Yes!
Even if it slows the sales process down to half
I will make the account send me the details
I hope you all learned a lesson here or else
Lose your jobs for I’m in charge ok?

Kaput Scripted
The top boss carved the account up some more
He put in place an extra step so no duplicate accounts were made
This was fine in the managers’ eyes an extra layer of a layer
And it created work for a back office guy making those accounts
It was his job to do it not the call centre agents
If they made a new account they got beasted and fired
It was easy to create a new account yet full of risk
Send the details to your TL and then in the form
So back office has it and will make the account
The account will be made and sent to your TL
Who will reassign it to the rep that made the call
No double accounts no confusion yet more stress
Adding to the wait time while the rep does compliance
Completes a needs assessment vets the customer
Sends a promo approval to his TL who sends it
To the manager who sends it to the client
All the while the patient customer holds like a fool
When all this is done and the account is sent over
The closer calls the VT team who complete the sale
If the DM has funds on a working card all is fine
If any step fails the whole thing collapses
What a nice time for me to be endorsed
To a different version of my old healthcare account
No more sales on a failing B2B account

That Crap
Same old **** on the account
Divide and conqueror defeated in battle
Wait till the account folds
Client pulls it out we can't wait!
All reps reassigned or leave
Something better than this
We are not made for this moment
We deserve better will be greater
Unless you want us to be depressed
And cry like puppies the account failed
There's more to life than sales
B2B outbound cold calls
Hey buy our service make us rich
At first we believed till we woke up
It's the same crap as the rest
Just dressed up differently
What we do next will be better
Cos we ain't doing that crap!

Move It
Let the bosses deal with the ****
It’s what they’re paid for
Why should we concern ourselves?
We have our own demons to slay
There are other opportunities out there
Not just their cheap scandalous account
Let’s move on get something better
Away from their hostility mind set and vices
I plan on being an astronaut
What about you?

Blessed are the sign makers
for they shall do overtime
social distancing notices
and warnings galore…
means extra work
for those who hope to inform.
Reflecting the changes
in a mixed up world…
There’s serif, sans serif, cursive,
leaded, kerned, font smoothed, curled.
Helvetica, Univers, Futura & Gill
Classic fonts urging you -  Stand Still!…
Don’t cross that line…
Follow the science… Divine!
Do the 2 metre 2 step
the 1 metre Shimmy…
The retailers are back
saying Gimme, Gimme, Gimme.
Women want to shop…
Blokes just want to be blokes
and stand outside!
It’s a sign of the times folks…Stay Out!
Onside!
Goal!!!
However many trades hit the economic wall
the signmakers & writers out there, they’ll outlive us all!
Blessed are the sign makers!

the annual gift-giving hectivities
in advent time
       when we are

            supposedly

      expecting the birth of our savior
defy traditional ideas
    of quiet meditation
drowning the sense of wonder
with relentless jingles for super discount sales
of things neither we
        nor anybody else
        really needs
even though they suggest we
        and whoever we give those goodies to
would be beyond  the moon

somehow
      Christ
       in spite of all this
gets born

the United Nations
ever and again call to raise billions
to help countries devastated by war
or other mostly man-made catastrophes

I suggest we operate by the causality principle:

the countries who sell all those arms
    and military support to the warring parties
    or leave the natives no land to grow their own food
simply use the money gained from their sales and appropriations
to help the refugees they created
    build up all the cities their weapons destroyed
    provide a living for the farmers whose lands
         have been sold to agrobusinesses
    pay for the education of all the children
         unable to have schooling
    reconstruct the societies their greedy actions destroyed

sounds like a fair proposal

doesn‘t it??

For the low low price of just being within' earshot,
the conversation analyst will run a full diagnostic on your conversation.

You know how that perfect comeback
feels, three weeks after
You didn't say it?

In training, representatives for Inbound sales listen to recordings of their own phone calls and critique them like Art majors in a studio class.

Our conversation analyst.
Looks at you like a shoe on the wall.

Unlike the psychology major,  the conversation analyst will never share his results.

He'll just judge you.
Silently.

He doesn't speak.
His fourth grade english teacher taught him that the carpenters house is never finished.
She was referring to her husband, the carpenter, not finishing the renovations on their new home, but the conversation analyst heard it as a metaphor, and adopted it as a universal truth.

Much like a painting controls the path your eye travels the canvas, or the scientific process that goes into composing music,
the way you build rapport is one of those things that people don't realize can be an art form until they wittness it professionally.

Our conversation analyst considers himself  Socio-passionate.

Which amuses him, when he deducts points from your conversation for not empathizing correctly.
Or not giving effective compliments by asking a relevant question afterwards.

The conversation analyst is not always mute. On special occasions such as first impressions he is a fine conversationalist.

You can meet the conversation analyst for the first time, as many times as you want.

If the carpenters house is never finished.
The conversation analyst
exemplar at listening,
Will never hear you.