I never had a thought that wasn't preceded by ten
confused by five
seconded by none
writing them down feels impossible
like choosing your favourite line from your favourite song or fully comprehending what it is about the beat that makes you move

my thoughts don't flow freely
they scatter and smash
cascading like the great flood without even a paper ark for respite
structured without form
prone to sink at the slightest wave

my thoughts misbehave
run riots
race wolves
some fly off to the ever after
and the darkest hover round like distant drones
a distraction
a constant buzzing
a worrying sight

I don't think I'm doing it right
I'm not supposed to think
just write

but my thoughts won't do what they're told

I didn't hear what you said
But that smile
That smile makes it so easy for me
To drown in a feeling never to come true

....
Absence came and hid the cracks.  
Wasn't she suppose to make the heart long?
she said fonder, bolder, tighter, closer...
She lied. She formed habits designed to hide.