I confess that I fear everything,
& coming out of my shell is yet to find!
Dear fears, I wish you could go for a vacation away from me!
with you I am hesitant as well as resistant all the time.
I don't know how to explain.
I wish I could let go of all of them
And do everything I ever wanted to do.
Thoughts keeps running across my mind
figuring no way out except thinking.
And my time is flowing fast enough...
I wish there was somebody to push me from the cliff
so that I could actually start living..
But, I get it, there is nobody except me
I have to push myself
Not for others but for myself.
I don't want to change for other but for myself..

We both knew I wasn't a safe choice.
I tried to warn you of the way I built myself
to be alone,
To be resistant to a changing heart
and cynical about romantic love.

You knew I was a bad idea when I couldn't keep a straight face
when you asked me seriously how I felt about you.
Why did you ask me how I felt about you?
You should have known I wasn't like that anymore.

You knew that what I fear most in the world is being attached.
Please don't get attached.
Why did you get attached?

We even made jokes of the way I'd never tell you that I liked you,
even when you'd say it all the time.

You saw the risk I posed to you, yet all you knew
was that you liked the way I looked in shorts
and the way I liked beer and being loud as much as you did,
And how I liked to kiss to City & Colour
and the way I made you feel when I awed in your music.

You shouldn't have believed me
when I said I wanted to be with you.
Not because I didn't want to,
But because you know how I change my mind.