i ask, i pray for god to put me out my misery.
to wither me emotionless with the lesser
ability to exist and not full of feelings.
for my own sanity, i plead for dire
consequences for my own self
worth as I’ve made excuses
and pathetic decisions
that plague my life
as I ask for god.
I ask for god.
I ask.

In a darkened church
hard by the dusky nave,
a brass lectern’s perched
with blue Chi-Rho engraved.

It faces to a reddened west,
its golden sheen aglow,
by light of candles blessed
as darkness ’round us grows.

Above the tall stone spires
dim stars come peeping out
to shine down on the quire
and the small knot of the devout.

We few sit as the gloom
grows deeper all around
and let ourselves be not consumed
by the chaos that abounds.

Once our Evensong is sung
for our time that slips us by,
a last brass bell is rung
as we hope for dawn’s reply.

A free bird I want to be
Despite the fears of freedom
Despite the unfamiliarity of the destination
Free as a bird I want to be
as the breath of stars.
In every heartbeat, a story lies,
In every soul, a universe of skies.
Yet in the echoes, we remain,
A whisper in the wind,
In the vast expanse within, we are kin.
No lines to mark where you end and where I begin
We find a truth profound: there are no borders in our souls.

A free bird I want to be
Our hearts beat in unison, a universal song,
In the dance of life, we all belong.
No walls can hold the spirit, no chains can bind the heart,
In the realm of the soul, we are never apart.
We are threads in a tapestry, woven with care,
Each one unique, yet all are there.
In the fabric of existence, every soul plays a part,
Connected by love, the language of the heart.
For in the end, we are one, there are no borders in our soul,
In the dance of the cosmos, in the flow of time,
We find our place, in the rhythm and rhyme.
A unity of hearts, a collective dream
A free bird I want to be
On wings of dreams, I’ll soar so high,
Beyond the clouds, across the sky,
Unbound by chains of earth or sea,
A free bird, yes, that’s what I’ll be.
In skies of blue, my heart will sing,
Of freedom’s joy, the gift it brings,
No cage, no walls, just liberty,
A free bird, that’s my decree.
In forests deep or deserts wide,
Above the world, where secrets hide,
With boundless joy, so wild and free,
A free bird, that’s my destiny.
With wings spread wide, I long to fly,
Touch the stars, caress the sky,
Unbound, unhindered, wild and free,
A free bird, I yearn to be.

Did you come here to pass the time
that would not pass without you?

Did you come here to move the time
that would not be moved without you?

Did you come here to meet the others?
To ask why they were leaving?

Did you come here when summoned
Is that summons what you believe in?

Did you come here of your own free will
before there was a you?

Did you come here from chaos?
Did chaos come from you?

Did you come here to dream a dream
that touched no one but you
And tell no one but always act
As though that dream were true

Did you come here from want or will
And all that came before?

Did you come here not knowing
Did you leave not knowing more?

Did you come here to pass the time
That would not pass without you?

Did you come here to move the time
that would not be moved without you?

Man can build their dolls,
And pray to their arts and statues.
They can dream,
and wish,
and fear,
And all,
For they still
Will pay off their dues.

A one true god believed by one
Is flawed in only his jealousy
The men
The women
The children
And sinners
Will follow him ever so readily.

But when men perish
Lives selfishly cherished
Will fly up not to clouds.
They'll trip and fall
And traverse the tall
Pillars that carry earth's crowds.

Even the saints will work when embowed.
In hell, the man is in town.

There is no pity in Berlin,
a place of prickly wounded pride.

A city of angels
who fell like scars of lightning
from gunmetal grey skies.

I watch old silvered rolls of film
and see flying columns of seraphim
as they march on by
row upon row
eyes ablaze
flaming swords drawn
in a parody of paradise.
They descended into hell
and are seated
at the left hand of the Kaiser:
Gott mit uns.

This sullen scene of no regret
stains the present with the dead and past:
It fits the flinty nature
of the blunt Berliner
under the ashen skies of winter.

I trudge across a gravel path
in the bowels of Berlin,
hear the grinding crunch
of brittle bones below,
and gird myself for the grim winter ahead.

The sun keeps on rising
Yet, there is no blue—
It keeps on setting,
Yet, there is no red,
As if every hue had bled
Onto this crown of lavender around my neck.

Let every ray
Burn through my bones,
Let the dust remind you
Of the star we once were,
Let my remains evaporate among the clouds,
The rain, drown this Earth,
The fire, be meaningless

Once coming back home to
Your light,
Forever coming back home to
September's embers.

I look to the sky
And beg God for forgiveness
My plea goes unheard.

In the ancient Gothic church
Mother Mary whispers here;
Her stony face looks out at me,
blank eyes that shed a granite tear:
There beneath her warming cloak
a mass of children huddle there,
seeking shelter and maternal love —
their fears and pains that she will bear
are lit by a sea of candlelight
that lifts cares hence, way up high,
borne aloft away from here,
to dissipate in distant skies