I dreamed a dream so perfect
of white and pureness found
Of swimming pools of happiness
and creativeness unbound

Where I was king forevermore
and you could not invade
With all my joy in full display
and all true feelings laid.

You entered not
for it was you who feared
Me! You feared me
and dare not ever neared.

So beautiful.  Magnificent.
Yet slumber comes to end
and soon I found myself returned
into your lap again.

Until I can once more escape
in sleep where truth is gone
to places you shall never know
nor ever gaze upon

I want to hide,
Somewhere tragedy can't find me
Somewhere I am free without responsibility
Where mental illness isn't draining
When I still have hope remaining
When every breath comes out with ease
This I am begging you please,
Just take me, I need time
To learn to breathe again

You find yourself from discovering the things you are not.

you are not what they call you.
you are what you call yourself.
you are not the things you failed at.
you are the lessons you learn from your experiences.
you are not the brands you wear.
you are the things you read to inform yourself.
you are not the circumstances you were born into.
you are what you make of your circumstances.
you are not depression, anxiety or eating disorder.
you are the every inch of the smile you wear despite that struggle.
you are not the people who left you behind.
you are the person you choose to become when they are gone.
you are not the ideals society imposes upon you.
you are the truth you honor despite what they tell you.
you are not the rubble they discarded.
you are the empire you built from the ruins they left behind.

Arms to hold us up
when our legs buckle
from under us
and lips to kiss us
good morning.

As a writer, I learned to dance with
my demons at the typewriter,
and poetry is the song
of the struggle that ended
in an entwined embrace.

To understand,
the different dimensions
that tortures one's soul;
is the reason why I write.
That is the reason for my existence.
That is what freedom means to me.

I write not because i seek your truth,
i just do - for someone who seeks
understanding in all the doors we see.

I write not because i seek your pity,
i just do - for someone who seeks
understanding in all tough roads we
go through.

I write not because this is a job,
i just do - for someone who seeks
relief to the burden he has not
spoken out loud.

© pax