How did we get here?
Well, I don't know.
Was it the way you said you just "let go"?
Was it the way I couldn't fix the hole?

How did we get so torn apart?
Was it destined for us from the start?
Was it the universe pushing and pulling again?
Maybe all good things must come to an end.
Maybe monsters made messes of this, making a mockery of our first kiss.

You saw it coming,
I saw it too.
We saw it chasing, but didn't know what to do.

Can we still stop it?
I fear it's too late?
It beckons and gawks at us,
So it could be fate.

But- I don't want to let you go.
You don't want to see me cry.
I don't want to walk away,
And feel my whole heart die.

I'll burn you into my soul,
So please-
Please-
Please don't go.

Stop.
Remember.
It's far too late.
This old september love,
Has reached it's- expiration date.

Wait.
No, i can't take it.
Stop,
Cause i can't breathe.
I don't want to let you go,
But i know that our hearts must grieve.

The end.
I know.
But maybe Ill see you again,
In the timeless flow.
And after all is done and said,
Maybe we will have our clearer head.

Wait.
No, i can't take it.
Stop,
Cause i can't breathe.
I don't want to let you go,
But i know that our hearts must grieve.

I'll let you go now-
I-
I'll let you leave.

take me wherever you want,
and talk however you feel.
ask for whatever you need,
i'll always stay here

scream and curse, i don't care
cry out all of your tears
because silence is killing my hope
you are something i've wanted for years

Once there was this
woman that I could talk about
writing and
poetry with.
We talked about Emily and Bukowski,
and many others.
We were poets in our own right.
We shared tears and laughter,
like a joint among friends.
Once, we sang our daughter to sleep.
It was beautiful and sublime.
But, the brutal dawn destroyed that
glorious night.

She farted a lot, but I fell
in love with her anyway,
and her son too.
We even cooked together.
It was magnificent,
although she got a little bossy in
the kitchen.
I can still smell the coriander
and garlic and taste the salt on
the back of her neck.

I picked her wildflowers, and
ate well from her garden- all slippery and divine.
She had these pastel soft blue eyes,
like something out of a Degas painting.
She could be as mean as Humpty Dumpty,
all cracked and broken, yoke flowing everywhere.
And I couldn't fix her. And I certainly
couldn't put myself back together again.

And then one autumn, I turned around,
and she was gone. A wall went up.
Occasionally I could see her through the
holes in the bricks. But I knew that
I would never touch her again;
hold her, kiss her.
It made me feel sad and lonely.
But I keep her real close in my heart.
And some days that gets me by.
And other times, it's like she was
never there at all just a tender dream.

I want to escape the memory of her;
overdose on artichokes and avocados,
drowned in a sea of ****** Marys,
or run away to far-off lands,
like Montana or Idaho.
But, I'm afraid I'd still see her there,
in the Snake River or the wide open sky.

Life is no longer how it was before.

Since I know, I can never be free.

This loneliness I used to adore.

Without her, the light I'll never see.



All the stars are owned by you.

I lament not giving you the moon.

Wish I told you a thing or two.

seems we're not talking any soon.

I have dreams about my father.
From my point of view,
the dream picks up in the middle.
I never see him when he returns,
only after I’ve let him back in.
We’re laughing and hugging.
These are my nightmares.
And last night, I had a dream about you.
We were walking a trail barefoot,
clinging on to each other for balance.
I woke up with that sick pit in my stomach,
as I always do with the others.
There was a time when I feared losing you.
Now, my subconscious is left fearing you,
hoping to God you’ll never come back
and that I’ll never be weak enough to let you return.