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Her Apr 2024
why
sometimes when i am doing good
the thoughts come back
the nightmares come back
the memories come flooding back

i have been petrified
of hearing your voice
of looking you in the eyes
of smelling those marlboro golds

i have escaped all over the world
so you could never find me
so you could never locate me
so you could never hurt me again

but

if that day ever comes
if the moment i have been dreading comes
if i ever have to face you again
in that cold dark room

i would ask you
one simple word

     w h y
Her Apr 2024
i have been hiding away
i have escaped to London
i have ran away again

where no one knows my name
where no one knows who i am
where no one knows what has happened to me

for the first time in my life i feel content
for the first time in my life i feel safe
for the first time in my life i am not afraid to feel

a city that has filled my cracks with love
a city that has filled my belly with laughter
a city that has filled my body with compassion

thank you for saving me London
neth jones Mar 2024
come back alive
  no shade
     no dark sleek  over your own boxed remains
report in     to your family
we'll remove the war from your shoulder
hook up the soldier costume on our hallway peg
return the memory of life to you
we hope we can offer this ..

      ..but we’ve heard tumorous stories
        that   to the war boy returned
                      life   no longer does stick
Alaska Feb 2024
I remember sitting in the garden of my therapists office, trying to feel the sun on my skin.
She asks me if I can feel the warmth and no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to find it.

It took me 14 years to say those few words that changed everything.
When my lips formed the whispered sentences, my shaking body suddenly felt so very different, even though the same things I was talking about happened to the same body.

When you start telling the truth, even if you can't build up the courage to speak all of it, a few words are enough, it becomes reality.
It's been real all this time, but now that it's entered someone elses mind, you can't take it back.

And maybe that's what it takes. To start your healing.

Speak your truth, even if your voice is shaking.
KarmaPolice Feb 2024
His senses hold him prisoner
Overwhelmed and alone
Walls were his burden
The light too much to bear

The soaked linen of yesterday's news
Stained with fear from battles before
Eclectic hoarding and microwave meals
Swallows a sharp suit and a badge

Headlights cast broken shadows
Each a spectre of the past
Empty scotch and cigarette holes
A slow crawl to solitude

Light burns through a slither
Heart beating through the walls
Strangled by the sirens
That triggered him before

He needs to be cradled
Yet no one comforts him
He rocks back and forth
Rhythmic on the floor

Screams muted by paralysis
Silence pervades the void
Fractured by the rasp and
A crescendo of emotions

The warning bells pass
They did not come for him
His symphony of sorrow
Plays out to an empty room

By Darren Wall ©
KarmaPolice Feb 2024
The hero of mine
My closest kin
Protector of fear
Where do I begin?

A mind of books
A wild story teller
Helping me sleep
Brothers bestseller

You took me away
On the high seas
We fought armies
Bullies and Thieves

I idolised you brother
Always by your side
Bikes from the shed
We'd go out for a ride

Long summer nights
Watching the skies
Satellites passing
Stars filled our eyes

But...

Youth escaped us
We were no longer free
The weight of life
Came down on me

The sun didn't shine
The shadows grew long
I searched for you
I tried to be strong

I missed your stories
I needed you brother
We drifted apart
From one another

I tried to reach you
But silence befalls
Keeping me out
Surrounded by walls

Ten long years
Since I saw you last
Only memories remain
Left long in the past

I really don't want
Our story to end
But our bond is..
Too fragile to mend

By Darren Wall ©
My PTSD doesn't just affect me, it pushes those you love away. They can't understand why you are not the man you were before. It's difficult, but it is what it is.
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