They ask me what I like about you -

as if it could be said in a sentence or two...

As if words could even express,

all the ways in which you make me a mess.


Oh, mad heart, if you could just quit

wishing and yearning, just for a bit.

I need a rest, from this lasting ache,

to stop thinking about him, asleep or awake.

Just give up, just don't, there isn't a hope,

you delude yourself, just start to cope.


"It's better to know then to keep wondering" -

but could I stand the rejection's sting?

Just holding these feels, it's too much to bear,

Sorry, can't help it, I simply care.

This way, at least, I'm the one to blame,

this way, I don't have to face the shame.

Somehow, it feels, just like control,

I'm hurting but I made the call.

Giving up and losing are two different things,

one pain is dull, the other one stings.

This way you won't feel sorry for me,

this way I get to keep my dignity.

Gracefully retrieve, and bow my head,

it's better, for all, that nothing is said.

I can't fight for you, that's not how it's done,

stubbornness isn't how love is won.

Perchance, I pray, I am mistaken,

From this bad dream, I might be awakened?

You might be braver, reach out first,

finally quench this maddening thirst?

Oh, it's a fool's heart speaking again,

a dreamer's mist; wondering "when?"

when will you notice, what a blindman could see,

what I feel everyone notices already?

Darling, answer my silent plea,

don't be cruel, I pray thee.

For when you look deep into my eyes,

you must know, there cannot be any lies.

It's cowardly of me, to leave it to you,

Sorry, again; that's all I can do.

I'll stay nearby, since I can't get away,

an ember of hope, a dawn of a day.

But regardless of all, I need to say,

thank you, my muse, my sunlight ray.

I prefer to detach
rather than the agonizing
feeling of not being needed

And
with that sentiment,
goodbye.

I’m ashamed,
I’m embarrassed,
I’m pathetic.
Aren’t I?

I want to be strong,
But I'm scared.
I’m absolutely terrified.

I don’t want to be alone anymore.

I feel weak for wanting someone.
I feel broken, I feel stupid.
I feel alone.

I want to be strong,
But I’m not.
I’m completely terrified.

I’m supposed to be ‘in love with myself’.
I’m supposed to ‘only need myself’.
I’m supposed to be independent.

I am independent,
I do love myself,
But I’m tired of it.

I’m tired of being alone.
Does that make me weak?

I’m sick of being alone,
Does that make me pathetic?

I don’t want to be alone anymore,
Does that make me lonely?

I’m so pathetic,
Aren’t I?