#ocd poems on Hello Poetry

Ellie Martin Jan 2016

it's funny how much my anxiety
causes fear for my life
but then
gives me so many reasons
to end it all.

life with anxiety.

#sad #depression #sadness #anxiety #careless #worthless #ocd #antisocial

Ellie Martin Jan 2016

Alone in a room
A comforting thought.
When outside open, flailing
It is the only thing you want.

But when inside the covers
You feel only dread.
Taunting thoughts tease
Dancing in your head.

You jump back in the waters
Helpless and Scared.
Imaginary sharks nip at your organs
You feel a pierce at every glare.

The pain is never temporary
It follows in your sleep.
Every breathe you take
Is a hopeless cry, a never ending weep.

You eat peoples words
A poison sent from hell.
Digestions through intestines
Another soul to sell.

Alone, away, together
With this new order
You never want to feel
As a person in disorder.

-e.m

My anxiety disorder.

#depression #pain #illness #sadness #death #anxiety #hurt #mental #socialanxiety #ocd

Adria Maria Dec 2015

OCD

Perfect lines and circles and scales,
Preset shapes and purples to blues to greens
Left, then right, then left and right again.
Mismatched pairs and my lungs are closing up.

#mental #health #ocd

Nigel Finn Dec 2015

Circular Thought Patterns

My OCD is running wild again, causing me to think things
That I really know I shouldn't. The same things over
And over, and I know I can't escape the thoughts in my own mind.

I strain with all my might to put another thought there;
"I need to stop thinking this. I need to stop thinking this",
Like trying not to think of white bears.

Untill the cycle turns to another set of thoughts,
Getting closer to what I desire, but not quite there;
"I need to stop thinking this. I need to stop thinking this."

Knowing I need to stop thinking those thoughts
Becomes a thought in itself, and I know- I just know
They'll bring me to tears if I can't stop them;
"I need to stop thinking this. I need to stop thinking this."

Distractions! That's what I need! Something to stop the mind racing.
Something I can physically do without disturbing everyone else.
Softly I start saying nonsense words to myself;
"Monkeys and aliens. Monkeys and aliens."
Hoping they won't hear me in the next room.

Is it helping yet? No, no! Don't think like that!
It'll only last longer if you think about your progress;
"Monkeys and aliens. I need to stop thinking this."

"Stop talking; I can't concentrate on the words you say,
And it just reminds me that I'm still not okay.
Just give me a moment. Yes, alright then. A coffee. Fine.
Just please, please, stop offering your help.
I need to be able to do this myself."

"Unicorns, dragons and Boggel-de-rumps!"
Yes, yes! That's it! The nonsense poems you wrote
From the days you thought you were happy.
They'll help you out, no doubt!

I whisper the rhymes to myself, slowly calming down
Such joyous, happy, bouncy words!
How could I ever be unhappy with such words around?
Oh yes, that's right, I remember now;
"I need to stop thinking this."

Killing oneself is, anyway, a misnomer. We don't **** ourselves. We are simply defeated by the long, hard struggle to stay alive. When somebody dies after a long illness, people are apt to say, with a note of approval, "He fought so hard." And they are inclined to think, about a suicide, that no fight was involved, that somebody simply gave up. This is quite wrong.”
― Sally Brampton

#depression #mentalhealth #ocd #circular

Nigel Finn Dec 2015

Love Is An Illusion

As someone with OCD,
And knowing that it is biochemically
Indistinguishable from romantic love, I agree
With those who claim that "love is an illusion"
And point out to those who disagree
That I have found it many times over and still feel that way.

I don't believe in love,
To believe implies doubt, and a leap of faith,
So no -I do not believe in love.
I also do not believe in tables or bananas,
It is simply enough that they exist.
That does not, however, mean it's not an illusion.
Therefore; [insert your own reality/subjectiveness/quantum stuff here]

Love is beautiful, and also an illusion.
If that takes the beautifulness of it away from you
Then you need to realise that illusions are real too,
Just not always easy to understand.

While I don't know who's reading this, I can say that you deserve to be loved, or at least experience the illusion of being loved.
I love you, and I hope you love yourself too.

#love #believe #illusion #quantum #ocd

s Nov 2015

Meds

I'm trying
I have called for help
I have kept going
Done everything they said to do
And none of its working
Its like I have a knife in my neck and people keep checking my legs to find the problem.
I don't know if that makes sense
I don't think I make sense.
Going to start taking meds again
It makes me more suicidal
But it makes my mom happy
Makes her feel like she is helping
Makes her feel like I am trying to be better
Mom I am trying
My head just hates me and I don't know how to make it stop
I've given up.

Idkidkidkventsesh

#anxiety #crazy #tired #done #ocd

Ell Nov 2015

When I realized I loved you

I couldn't stand to sleep next to someone.
Something about the way each breath wasn't in sync or hearing a heart beat that was too fast/too slow really bothered me.
That all changed.
The night we stayed up and laughed and talked.
The night I truly realized , that it was I who was in love. And I was in love with you.
Sleeping next to you seemed like it was meant to be.
Waking up next to you was even better.
Now I sit at home struggling to fall asleep to the sound of my own breath, my own heartbeat.
I struggle with not having you by my side anymore.

#love #sleep #struggle #ocd

Peter Robert Hamilton Nov 2015

OCD But It's Your Favorite Track On The CD

If you're OCD,
You're going to hate this poem.

Because it's not what you're used to
and it can be infuriating

I know where i'm going and i'm laughing in enjoyment.
I wish i could take some comedians out of sheer unemployment
And take damaged soldiers out of deployment
But you know that drill already
We're just trying to keep the Earth's rotation steady
But i'm up for going steady
If that's what you want

We're all about want
I'm all about yours
Trying to coordinate each constellation
Is like arguing with a woman
You won't get the result you were looking for
It's beautiful in the tension
And it has it's suspension
But it's infinite
Meaning it will go on forever
So just try not to.

I never liked arguing
I know i won't later on
Your passion and support is all i need
That's what i look for the most
Someone who doesn't see me as some sort of ghost
Or lifeless party host
But someone that means the air they breathe
I get tired of my mistakes
But to know someone will try to help me prevent them

Is what i like
There has been a couple of people who tried
But i pushed them off the deep end
And i'm terribly sorry for that
Zero fault on you and all for me
I say that with a smile
Because it feels good to be honest with myself

You think it would be a brain-dead thing to master
But it only seems that way
I know from experience
Trust me, I've been there.

My trails go in multiple angles
Just like my nature
But if you're crazy enough to stick around
You'll get a warm welcome
You'll know how to feel special
If you never have before, i'll be the first to show you

I mean every word
With full fledged honesty
I wouldn't say useless, empty words
That's inept and not worth it.

If you're confident in yourself
Girl, you should work it
I heavily value strong traits such as that
You're going to turn all my bumps in my chest flat
And make me enamored just like that
The flick of the switch
No more wishing i would with other male persons.
To get a chance
That's why most men do a celebration dance

Consistently catching me in a trance
I got more lovely words than France
Okay, maybe not
But the ambition doesn't vanish
I'll still try
To keep you mine

Time is precious
So are you
If Time was a woman she would be in disgust
That it's not her in your shoes
You brought your sparkly ones?
Just making all the check marks, are you?

Champions aren't limited to sports
I can assure you.

#love #poem #life #relationships #art #girls #women #shoes #ocd #cd