Again today
I went to bed as the sun rose.
The creeping blue-grey dawn
signalled to me
it was time to sleep.

My sleep does not come easily though
and many a night,
I sit through the dark hours
waiting for that dawn to come.

Should I worry that my sleep
comes only as dawn breaks?

I don’t mind;
the night holds no fear for me
in fact, I relish those dark hours,
the solitude,
when all is silent,
when all is calm.

And when I do sleep,
it is fitful and fraught,
just a few fretful hours
embellished by strange visions.

And on waking,
I am not always refreshed
but the days are long enough
for a few more hours
of fretful rest
before the sun sets
and I can again enjoy
the dark hours
in my solitude.

Sunshine.
A beautiful sunshine
You said I am your sunshine
You keep calling me the sunshine
While I felt so loved being that sunshine,
You kept turning into a dark night of no shine
Why did you keep calling me sunshine
When you are a total nyctophilia.

You don't need an entitlement
You are already my favorite

When I'm deep asleep
You are mine to keep

But I always stay awake
Just to see your black array

Your nothingness gives me everything I need
And your silence gives me every reason to live

Everyone else is afraid of you,
Because you're too dark and dull

But that's not true
You're not nebulous, just blue.

You're not dull,
You're cool.

There is no room for insecurity
You are already perfect for me

I cling for your attention
I bring good intention

You're nothing but pure perfection
Try to see it in your own reflection

As I whisper your name
The moon dimmed and stars fell

Your name is so heavenly—
They close the gates of hell

You saved me from my suicidal craving,
Life has been hitting me awfully lately

The cut that life made was deeper
But you made me feel stronger

Is it an illusion?
Another perfect distraction

For my adoring death
And self-destruction

Your coldness touched my sole,
And your darkness captured my soul

I let your darkness devour me
It's no different from my misery

But that's okay,
You seem to notice me

It's enough fuel to stop my self-cruelty
Your presence is all I need