"I Wasn't Ready" by J. Andre

As I was tying my shoes, buttoning my shirt, took my wallet just to be alert, 'cause we all know some girls like the money, I never knew I wasn't ready.

As I put on my coat for courage to keep warm in this cold world, as I made sure my face looked pretty 'cause girls love guys who have beauty on the outside I've been told, I never knew I wasn't ready.

As I met her at the corner of the shopping mall with her outstanding beauty, LOL I'm using words my grade 1 teacher would grade me with, I never knew I wasn't ready.

I could see and hear all the warning signs:
"Stop!!"
"Don't go there!!"
"Warning!!"
"May become too dangerous!!"
Still, it didn't click to me, I never knew I wasn't ready.

I kept on persisting and chasing after her till she was my girl, me getting access through the danger zone would not only hurt me, but change me.
Not physically, but mentally.
Not fast, but slowly.

I changed from who I was to who I wasn't supposed to be. I couldn't take the burden unlike camels in the desert standing the burning, I knew I wasn't ready to be with someone who would change me and drive me to the pit of hell without my seat belt on..

But all I decided to do was stay, maybe because of the insecurities of this world.
No, because I had to make a decision quick that I hadn't taken a course for, I now knew, I wasn't ready..

I never said no, I just said not now
I never said I don’t, though I never told you I did.
But I do
Always have, always will

It’s no longer "Will you wait for me?”
We’re way past that
It’s “Wait for me. Please.” now
I promise it’ll be worth it.
I’ll be worth it.

**We’ll be worth all this

I was not ready for this.
Did you know I had no idea what I was getting myself into?
Did you know what we would become?
Did you always know?

I am still not ready for this.
I now know that I got myself into a storm I cannot escape.
I now know you cannot be friends that kiss and know each others demons too.
I now know that this will end,

But baby I am holding on because I'll never be ready for the nights I drown the taste of your lips with your favorite alcohol.

love me so, love me though
my heart is not yet at the ready.
see me through, see me new
a person rebuilding from thine past.
stabbed through the heart,
broken from the start
this romance doomed 'fore the bloom.
you love me so, you love me though
I cannot return the favour