at these times when the stars dip low
as the night sky is a shade darker
I feel myself fall deeper into blue
often times I cannot comprehend
how the world can be cruel to its ebb
haven't I sweat enough buckets to fill a lake
to get more to what I can ought to take?
as I hid in the shade at afternoon's peak
when I beamed when the sun rays kissed my skin
even though the rigor and gravity pulling us deep
we made it through
I thought the universe paid me off
with little things to keep me warm
— such little things, I say,
meant so much little more —
as I have hidden far too long in the dark
He had sent me gifts to treasure all through
— but why must you send off things
that also meant the world to me?
I do not have the right to question You this
but can I even make it through?
all along the deepening way of the night
with only a lamp post to guide me through
I cannot help but feel restless
letting these fears and doubts creep in—!
the twisted thoughts have taken over me
same with the fellows who got me through
we expect a night of toss and turns,
as we ready ourselves how this unfolds
how can we even sleep soundly this night?
when the monsters that is visiting us
is what used to be the light who helped us through?

pause the doubts
let the stream be drought
there will come a time
it will all fall place in line

As of now, I think of you
each passing day
Our meeting,
still etched in my mind
Since the day we parted
I miss you more each day,
I want to meet you (again)
I didn't know it was possible
I fell deeper, greater—
beyond of what I expected
It's engraved deeply in my heart
Your words and ethereal figure
You're what my heart's beating

Must I really wait
No matter how long
Till then I promise to be well
I'll keep my heart only for you

Even if
I look away
my heart seems
to find your way

Even if
Our gaps too far
I know
we could meet somehow

Even if
it's not today
our paths
will cross someday

Even if
my love's not enough
I know I'll love you
more each day

Even more
than yesterday

A paper left blank, unlaid
Hurt, numb to even lift a pen
To hear news of your passing
It was too much to bear

A moment of silence
then tears come undone
How could you leave too soon?
I thought you were healing...

Though these mourning came on too late
I'm sorry if it took too long, my mate
Your friend wasn't able to stand your state
Especially seeing your gentle face...

At least you're hurting no more

I went back again and these words laid
Please don't worry, darling
I know you're in good hands
These tears will still fall, but not too long
I know you want us okay, we will be
We will
But please be mindful you will be missed
So much
I'll remember you through our song
especially how you radiate us with your smile
You've done well, you can rest
Someday we will reunite again
At least you gave us comfort
that another angel is looking out for us

I know I started seeing things differently
Every time I look up the sky thinking
that I want to take every moment
sharing this beautiful view with you

— strolling

I just love and cherish him so much. Though, why is it so hard to convey to the world? Why and how is it so hard to understand?

And why does it have to be this way.

A simple girl loving a man far from her grasp. I thought love wasn't supposed to hard, nor it needs to be understood. You just feel it, and you just know in the depths of your heart.

**Yet why does this hurt so much?

my precious star in the night
I love those glint in your eyes
the dreams that you've now achieved
please hold that tight
never lose sight
of what fueled that spark

the night I saw you, I swear I fell
as if I'm a shooting star shot across galaxies
but I could never hold such blinding light
as much of what you hold in your very eyes

please, my love, never loose that glimmer
as mine is fading, you're my only hope

I dream that even if millenials pass
these eyes will see the same star
of what made her wish on stars in the first place

I hope that I can hold on to you the same
please, my love I beg
as if I'm holding onto my last breath

this is my only wish upon a star
that whatever you may be
that even if you stand out
among thousands of galaxies
never change your pure glow
my love, don't be blinded
for what may bring you
to your downfall
please, I believe
I put my faith onto yours
even that time may pass
your light may still reach
my heart the same as that night

you were just a seed
I planted, expecting only a flower
but then you provided me a garden
you were so beautiful
but I must not pull you out
for your stem will droop
and your petals will die
so I watered you with care
handled you till you bloomed
ever so lovely—
till it was too much for me to bear
your roots, I ought to pull out
but you've been struck deep
into the surface of my skin
later suffocating me with your vines,
wrapping around my chest
so I will just wait for summer to pass
for then like the autumn leaves I fall
and these feelings will run dry
till it is too cold for you to grow
into the winter's unbearable ground

I've been losing track of time
As I lessen my time of sleep
It's as if my thoughts doesn't want to rest
As it keeps running its way towards you

I'm honestly feeling myself growing tired,
wanting to give into solitude...
But how can I even choose sleep?
When even in my dreams, you keep me awake?