everybody wants to feel good
everybody says that they would
but sometimes life just doesn't play nice
and all they do is complain they don't get treated right
what happens when you run out of people to blame
what happens when you run out of hearts in this game
hate to be caught in a hall of mirrors
hate to be caught where your exterior is inferior
when you know your interior is superior
or to be more exact, you think that you're better than this
you think that you're worth it, you think you deserve it
but do you really if you don't work for it
not everyone understands what it is to feel like you can't
to feel like everything in the world is out of your hands
feeling like whatever you do won't amount to anything
when all you have to lose is everything
what's the goal? a wedding ring or a home?
or a six figure job? would that make you feel whole?
guess you'll never know. you'll never realize until you grow old.

Day I forgot, I forgot a week,
Got the names mixed up.
Parachutes swing,
Worms seeds.

Kilograms of honey agaric,
Compliments the perfume.
So and are written, guys,
Centimeters poems.

What a day, with marked –
No deck, no tablet.
No particular
Goal not was and there is no.

Crowded long box,
But the receipts are empty.
The printer, gasping, drags
Striped sheets.

Before I went to sleep,
I counted my blessings,
For having you,a beautiful family and trusted friends,
Their care and love,
A roof over my head,
All my needs met,
And many of my  wants too.
Then,you had an accident and departed,
So sudden,no hugs no goodbyes.
Grief gripped my soul,
Agony wounded my heart
Nothing made sense.
Night after night tears drenched
my pillow,
Muffled sobs, my eyes swollen.
Remembering  moments with you,
My heart would break anew.
Until one day my priest made me realize,
You were a blessing too,
HIS trust (amanat) he had given me.

Before I start this

Thank you,

I used to be so helpful

I need to call my momma

I think I need a girlfriend

Time to talk to papa

I used be so different

Now I know the problem

Maybe I should love her

But where's the issue

Maybe I should bleed

But I am not a cutter

I love the pleasure sensation

But not the feeling of slicing my skin like butter

On a summer day

A wonderful day

Through my skin with an iron dagger like a tragic story

I need to get my ****

All together probably

I need to stop my procrastination

Well maybe I'll start tomorrow

Where are all my virtues

Behind the sins I follow

This is not the issue even the though rhe consequence follows in sequential order
Bordered on my persons if the action do more than my conciousness can fathom i shall falter with this ******* world

That's why papa said my **** is int he dirt

But I do not like cabbage

Maybe a couch potatoe

why does it even matter

Before you go to the next step

Please read the disclaimer

In this day and age of digital things

I got everything I really should need????

As I grovel at your feet
And follow your every move
With gashed and bleeding knees
Begging for something that should come naturally
For me it does,
The lust
The longing
The desire
The urge
And the yearning
All the things you have no idea about.
All the things you ignore
And push to the side
Just like my wants and needs
My feelings
And my longing for you
All in a pile labeled
“who gives a **** for whatever happens to this”

I wonder why I’m the sorry one
Feeling horrible for wanting

In slow motion, I make silly faces
together they look normal
I wind myself back

and forth, enlarge me
and watch me close to the skin:
I look real

whatever hat I wear
whatever my wishes are
underneath it

In the dark, I feel inside me
for who I am, listening
to my body

which is difficult to understand
It wants to eat and enjoy
fondling, yes it wants to

enjoy music and attention
and the knowledge
to be needed, admired

it wants to surrender
to someone, to real
pleasures that are seen

I have but one humble request.
Forget not I who loved you best,
Not I whose love will never rest,
With all my love I loved you best.

Acknowledge to me only this.
There is none else you want to kiss,
Mine are the only lips you miss,
As yours are those I want to kiss.

Assure me that you realize.
You see the love inside my eyes,
The tears of joy of joyful cries,
Of your image inside my eyes.

Promise me this one thing you know.
The closeness of our love will grow,
Coming together fast or slow,
Come closer so my love will grow.

If nothing else let this be true.
Devote to me as I for you,
Making love as only we do,
Love me for me as I for you.