june tenth
the pale lamp in my room is flickering again,
you told me fifty three times to fix it,
i never did.
september twenty-first
every morning i drink apple juice,
you liked orange juice and always asked me to buy some,
i never did.
september twenty-fifth
wednesday: the day you were born,
once you were gone i was supposed to forget,
i never did.
october third
halloween is coming up,
you told me to dress up as captain america,
i never did.
may second
it's spring time and the flowers are hopping up from their beds, (another thing i never did)
i can't believe the world still goes on but,
i never did.
may eighteenth
i read the fifth harry potter book,
i skipped two and four; you once told me to write my own story,
i never did.
may twenty-seventh
you always laid out my meds for me on our lillypad green paper napkins,
but whenever i'd take them you'd vanish, so,
i never did.
june first
i played a mel tormé record,
you said i had a better voice than him whenever i sang along but,
i never did.
june sixth
i cried for the first time in three days,
the world felt heavier today, i tried to let it crush me but,
it never did.
june tenth
now its been,
well,
time seems a bit funny to me now a days.
but i guess its probably been two months or so,
but the calendar says four years,
but the calendar wouldn't be the first thing to lie to me in here.
but i want to let you know:
i don't have lamps now,
i only am allowed water,
they never tell me what day it is,
i haven't even seen a halloween since your absence,
the only thing close to flowers in here is the pattern on my gown,
the "library" here *****, there is a total of nine books. they are all gross romance novels,
my meds now come in a tiny paper cup four times a day,
they only play country here and thats only on music therapy days,
the world floated up
up
up
and away, i assume it took you with it,
i guess it is just and fair that this happened to me,
i mean look at all the things you asked that i did not do for you,
but i asked you one thing,
and you said you'd always be with me, but,
you never did
**no one ever did
