I'll leave these mark
To show the other girls
That im yours
And you are mine
Even though we are nothing
But just friends

I'll make sure
Your other dates
Won't want you
As much as i want you

you aren't him
no one will ever be.
if i'm being honest,
he isn't even him anymore.

because
the first boy I ever loved
I loved when we were 8
playing on the playground
the first heartbreak I had
I had when I was 10
two years went too fast

he grew into someone I no longer recognized
all harsh words
and scrutiny

I'm not me anymore
No longer can I look in the mirror
and say I see the 9 year old in love
with a boy who would still make
her hurt today.

you aren't him
which I am thankful for
I don't think my heart,
even 10 years later,
could handle another him

the way you make me feel
reminds of him
all sarcasm
and witt

but now the bite marks
that I'm trying to convince
myself are Love Bites
are still sore.

and yes,
I know I'm looking for validation
in the wrong places.
but so far it's all I can get

your hands  rough on my skin
your words rough on my ears

I'm beginning to think
the two of you

are more alike
thank I thought.

There are galaxies beneath my skin that only your touch can unearth, you expose the universe to me using only your lips, leaving proof that your love is not a dream

You again.
Haunting my thoughts late in the night,
just as every night before this.

I can never keep your poison out of my heart.
You are the disease crippling me.
Forcing me to gasp for air and write terrible poetry.

How many years have I been under your spell?
A lost and hopeless cause,
a dog begging for scraps of affection.

It's been almost a year since I've moved away
and yet you're still swarming my brain in odd evening hours.
I want to hold you in my arms and keep you there forever.
I want you to hold me in yours and want the same.

You will never love me like you love her.
I hate you both for that, but anytime I mention hate around you,
you transform into a three foot green alien
spouting jumbled wisdom occasionally hard to follow.

I wish I could just move on.
I've tried so hard. I did everything you told me to.
Everything you ever asked.
You told me I was the perfect girl for you,
but you just didn't love me.

What the hell is wrong with me?