love written on palms
strapped in tandem
asked if i wanted to dance in the clouds with you
right beside me
cloudberry you're my beloved
involuntarily bloomed for your bee
the cure of your currant
leaves thoughts that are never vacant
love is abundant
golden fields cover my heart
touch my tongue
followed by the melody of a harp
up in the sky
ballads never quiet
always highly sung
completely
immensely
sprung
flung into young love

We are encompassed by shadows
Windows of blue, and creatures of the sea
Familiar places breathe calm into me
And your hand in mine means everything
You ask me to sit and my heart skips a beat
This time I don't leave space between us
I lean against you without a second thought
4 months ago this was all that I wanted
I kiss your shoulder in secret celebration
Then rest my head in silent gratitude
Upon contact everything else disappears
The energy of it leaves just you and me
All of the anxiety and noise evaporate
Replaced by silence, love, and peace
A shift so surprising it's scary
And I pull away too quickly
I am breathless and in shock
But for once I don't ask why
I just squeeze your hand tighter
And appreciate this moment
Thanking the universe for
Every second I have with you

i had a great day-
although it was raining
and the skies were dark
and i passed faces i felt like
i've never seen before.
but it was still a great day,
comparatively
despite the revolving visions
of the past where i was pained
enough to be forever engraved
with a symbol of the mistakes you made.
it was still a great day
hold your head up high,
know the past is in the past.
but it's not-
the past lives inside me
a fiery tornado of rage,
a sinner living amongst perfection,
holding me in its deceptive embrace.
i try to let go
of all the things unforgotten
but i cannot seem to forget
the way you hurt me.
today was a good day
even though i remember
all the things in the past,
at least we have the memories
that seem to fade so fast

She met me at the bar,
My bar, on Broadway
Her hair was up, her makeup done
She smiled sweetly like she always does
I didn't tell her what I had done
She was too busy telling me
That she's moving to new York

Part of me felt like
She was giving me a chance
To ask her to stay
Part of me felt like
I needed to take a chance
And ask her to stay

She sounded so pleased
As if this was a piece of her puzzle
So I faked my excitement
Wished her and her girl well
Pushed away the feeling
That when she left, it was over

So maybe I'll do what I do best
Right before she goes
Lay this to rest, confess
That I can't stay in touch
I love her too much
Right before she goes
I'll be gone

my body is simply not conventional
to the clothes I wear
there are dips and hills plastered on my figure
hanes doesn't take into account
my weight or my height
so pulling up the waistband
drills the cotton into my skin
with no room to breathe
but I've gotten comfortable

my body is not conventional
to the clothes I wear
the hunch back of Notre Dame meets
a protruding belly that widens my waist
when I wear shirts
fabric strangles my hips
displaying my grotesque body
but I've gotten comfortable

my body is not conventional
to the clothes I wear
aged binders do their best
pools of skin are dipping out the sides
my ribs ache and it's hard to ignore
when my body wails a cracking chaos
pain and overstimulation have crept into dreams
but I've gotten comfortable

my body is not conventional
to the clothes I wear
my body is not conventional
but it doesn't bring despair
my body is not conventional
and you can't begin to understand it
because it's too crippling to bear
it's staggering to peep into a mirror
seeing my being labeled unpleasant
with the unnerving urge to rip my eyes out
and splatter my blood on the glass
why don't I just break down and sit there
it's heavy to carry my weight and be hyperaware
it's easy to not care and maybe I'd take that route
but I'm not conventional
so I'm taking another way downstairs