I am falling
Perpetual spirals into the dark
I feel my hands grasping
As air passes through my fingers
Something feels off and
I really can't tell
If the caution is real
Or a phantom of my fear
I'm in the land of ghosts and demons
Haunted by these oppressive memories
It's hard to know what's worse
The monsters or the claustrophobia
Flowers can't bloom in the darkness and
Humans cannot thrive in isolation
This place is lifeless, suffocating
Only tolerable through inebriation
Kindess is but a mask here
Trusting no one a necessity
Half these people want me dead
And a quarter could care less
Don't tell me I'm overreacting
When even family aim their guns
I've made my escape and now
I know what growth feels like
I've tasted the freshness of freedom
Witnessed the miracle of peace
It is not like this everywhere
So don't try to normalize this hate
I found celebration beyond tolerance
And I've built my home there
This place is a noxious poison and
I'm done trying to survive it

Soft lips and sharp breaths
My fingers run through your hair
Body to body
Heartbeat to heartbeat
I can't help but feel
This is where we're meant to be
Guided by the universe
We've reached a space where
Quiet, calm, and peace
Bloom from a simple touch

When I'm with you, nothing else exists
Only you and your gorgeous smile
Our lips touch and I melt into you
Challenges and frustrations evaporate
As my soul sinks into a dance with yours
It's a feeling like warmth and home
It's all so new and yet
I feel safe lying here with you
Skin to skin, heart to heart
These feelings are indescribable
I trace gentle kisses across your face
And nuzzle my nose against yours
I'd stay here forever if I could
But these fleeting moments are more than enough

I. YOU CAN FEEL IT IN THE ATMOSPHERE, TEARS OF MY PSYCHE FOR YOUR SOL

II. HANDS RISE AS IF IN WORSHIP, LA LUNE SLIDES ON MY TONGUE & DOWN MY THROAT LIKE A TROPICAL JUICE

III. YOU EMBRACE THE STARS, I EMBRACE THE CLOUDS

IV. WE SING AN OFF-KEY MELODY FOR THE MORNING THAT RISES

V. WE SING AN OFF-KEY MELODY FOR THE MORNING THAT WILL NEVER COME

in your arms, i find warmth.
i find 90s grunge band posters and fairy lights entangled on the walls with the scent of burning incense that has been lingering in the air around my nose for quite some time—a sensation of bliss between my cupids bow & chin when the sun touches my swollen lips with her soft & delicate ones—how does one tell the angel of the clouds to bring a storm down?

i find a remedy in our tomorrows
and a home in our forevers.

maybe I’m just out of metaphors.
or maybe you’re just too good for them.

i tried listing the ways i could describe our slow motion romancing, but my tongue is always left with a dry taste on the surface. i tried naming artists that brought me to my knees but they could never compare to how you bring me to them today. no creative suites are worthy to be grazed metaphorically with your name in between the syllables.

maybe i’m trying too hard
or maybe i’m not trying enough.

the glass is half-empty and my phone has been lighting up with missed calls from my muse, where have you been? where did you go? will you come back? i tried ringing my creativity but she left me with dial tones.

i can’t sit here and say i never thought about running away from you. i run away from anyone that gets close enough to brush against my rib cage towards my heart, i never liked the way their hands felt. iced and reeking with their desperation. maybe I’m just too tired of the same old thing, maybe i’m just really stuck on you.

maybe, the metaphors weren’t on the page
but in our yearnings for each other to turn around and taste the eclipse.

I shouted to the world that I loved you like a fool
But I could never confess I was speaking to you
Tried for so long to hate you
Like if I focused on your flaws, I could pick you apart
Into something I would have no choice
But to love a little less

The truth is that sitting out here next to you
On the curb outside my work
My hands ache to touch you, my lips to kiss you
It's selfish and it's miserable and I wish
I didn't yearn to confess to you
That I've been tormented by the ways
I've fallen in love with you

You're telling me how when you graduate college
You plan to marry her, you plan to adopt with her
And you're asking if I'll be slutty at the wedding
And I can almost hear you ask me to be your maid of honor
My honor to stand next to the woman I love
As she says her vows to the woman she loves

Before you go you're handing me
Your little blue cassette player, and my tape is still in it
And my voice breaks when I remind you to keep your ear phones
Because I've got a set of my own
And my voice breaks when I say I love you, too, I'll see you later

And my heart is shattered at our feet
But I found the route to smile back at you
As Im walking away, still thinking of our place
Where you used to sleep in my bed, used to make my coffee exactly right
And I was the coward who never made a move
When I know you wanted me to