you loved "me"
but you did not really love "me"
you loved the idea of "me"
but the vision of "me" you had
was the same one
of a million other girls
even guys
in the crowd

— i was a diamond to you, but diamonds didn’t mean much when you were in a mine full of them.

Those who talk **** to you
will talk **** about you.

i tried to ignore this
i tried to forget the feeling
it doesn't matter anymore
but why do i kept thinking about it?

yes, i was happy
we all shared a good laugh
i enjoyed your companionship
but why do i keep doubting?

i honestly never felt
the same love you give to each other
why do i always feel inferior
when you guys are the ones i prior?

if i go partways, will you ever miss me?
am i even in the best part of your memory?
well apparently i don't think so
sooner or later, i think im about to let go

honestly,
what's the point of honesty
if no one listens?

its almost been three years since i met you for the very first time.
but i hardly seem to know you,
and that breaks my heart.
i wish i knew you.
you seem just like the type of guy that i would love endlessly and unconditionally.
i'm sorry i never put myself in the position to find out.
you're oh so beautiful and i am oh so very proud of you.
it has now gotten to the point of your life where you are moving out and driving away to university.
they're screaming at you for you to 'find your why'.
and you're screaming straight back in their face with all the excitement you've ever held.
i love you for that.
but you've also sparked something inside me.
you've made me so determined and strong minded for the year that has just started and lies ahead of me.
thank you.
as i travel along a year behind you,
you are no longer a drive down the road.
you're now located three hours away,
and i hope so very much that one day i will be able to join you.
but of course we need to stay in touch.
but i want to surprise you 12 months down the track bumping into you in a little cafe.
you can tell im lost in my mind and dont have a great sense of reality.
you always told me that i was different.
but you'd follow that comment with 'and that ain't a bad thing'.
i'm so proud of you and my imagination for our future is the only thing that's going to get me through 2018.
you're finding your why,
but ive just found mine; you.

This is where i needed to be
to understand where i don't want to be
To understand what I could've be more careful about

not everyday
a flower blooms or a butterfly molts
so i must, everyday
try