Cranberries leaves and walnuts all mixed together
With a crumbly cheese that tastes like leather
Here's a tin can
Maybe that will taste better
The way you jump on that roof
Makes you seem almost aloof
I'd trade places with you, I say
But it's my 40th birthday
Maybe tomorrow...

I'm sick of these endless nights face down in pools of sweat
And waking up only to have my head full of regret
I had to check my phone to made sure I hit "send"
And to no surprise, there's no reply again

It happened again, I placed my bets
You know I was all in
A promise of escape from the way things had always been
So why am I lower than where I have began?

What am I hoping for, if it's not you?
I've spent all of my time and money
Trying to find something to distract me

I'm over starving myself just to feel some type of control
And doing trifle things just to fit the mold
So why stop now when I still have some control?
I just want something to make me whole
Don't leave me standing out here in the cold

The pain always comes back in the morning
Again, I'm living just trying to ignore it

as my emotions turn dark
a pain emerges
instead of crying
i feel a chain
a think silver chain
wrapping
locking
the chest
the heart
and everytime they hurt me
where i feel pain
a chain will lock up the emotions
yet... there are still gaps for droplets to fall
and slip
but there will be a time where i'll be locked
completely
closed,
****
emotions

homepage flooded
with poetry written
on topics such as
suicide,
hate,
harm,
loss,
pain
&
death;
we like it
and scroll down
we repost it
keep scrolling
we add it to our collection
and just like that
moments later
words forgotten
moved on
"next poem, please"
as if the poem
existed without
a person in pain
backing it up
as if behind the words
there was no soul
cracking at the seams
as if the poem itself
held more significance
than the (wo)man behind the pen

the least we could do
is acknowledge the existence
of the broken poet
behind the beautifully saddening poem