the pain must be
becoming more and more
unbearable each day,
and we have to continue
walking away from each other
when all we ever wanted
was to run
towards each other's arms.
so how about
we do this, my love?

how about we go on
with our day,
pretend we're going
to see each other
the very next day,
and face things
with excitement today?
how about we go on
with our breakfast, lunch,
dinner, and snacks in between,
and pretend we're going
to dine together tomorrow?
how about we sleep tonight
without crying our eyes out
to the memories of us
and pretend that tomorrow,
when the sun rises from the east,
we'll wake up
to see ourselves
next to each other?
how about we repeat
being hopeful every day,
looking forward
for the tomorrow
that holds you and I
in one page,
until we can
no longer remember
what we are ridiculously
holding onto
and we're just truly happy
with our lives
without each other?

When the branches are weary
And the leaves could only
Helplessly fall on the ground,
The birds sigh in unison.

When the clouds are in deep burden—
They try to hold it in for quite a while
Until a sudden downpour occurs,
And nostalgia creeps into every person.

As you watch all these happen,
You come to realize that sometimes
It's okay to just give in to the universe,
Because beauty isn't always in holding on.

I have been told that I am stupid, in love.
I don't know if I'm stupid, or simply in love.
Either way, I have no clue what I am doing,
But when others try to advise me what to do it goes in one ear and out the other, like things do when your parents lecture you,
Because in all honesty, I don't want to hear it.
I understand, yes, you love me, watching me break down isn't fun, watching my sanity slowly ebb away like the light of the sun in the evening is not easy,
But I need you to understand, I am in love, and love makes us do stupid things, but I am not stupid for loving who I do.
Because this love is true, and something I will be holding onto.
Mistakes may be made, and yes, they might play themselves on repeat,
And yes, forgiving them over and over is a feat, but I need you to listen to me.
I have never loved this much, I had always been either sad or numb,
And he is the one who changed that, he's the one who didn't make me feel fat, for once, he's the one who accepts my flaws and holds on when I am afraid and try to run away, he is the one who loves me back, and I am not willing to loose that.
So if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all
Because I will be holding on, and I need you to respect that, or step back.

grieving over what I lost,
regretting not holding on tighter


©L.F.

there was only ever
one
she was my saving
grace

Lying on the floor
Trying to get cold
Burning on the inside
Nausea plaguing me
Head spinning
Up in the sky
Can't feel this mortal body

A single tear drops
The first drop
Signaling the rainstorm

Trembling violently
Unable to stop myself
Slipping away

Hearing voices
The ground leaving me
I'm being lifted

In arms so strong
I am silent
Hiding in the chill of my bones
Laying still
Heart beating

Grasping tightly to a cord
Loosening
Then staying just that
Loose, yet there

Healed
Back on my feet
Wishing, halfheartedly,
That I had let go

Then again
The other half cries in relief
So glad it remained

Pulled in
Heart beating
Words mumbled
Feeling in my hands fleeting
Unsure what shall win

Then suddenly
All is gone
I find myself eased
Over time
I realize;
Someone cares

- Jay M
April 24th, 2019

the mess here now, i will allow
and you know me, i worry
could always use some pity.
its been about a month and im eating badly,
and obviously my wounds are open but dont take them seriously because i’ll be fine.
and i can see it in your eyes that you mean it, i can feel in your arms that its true and though i just heard myself say it, i know i am lying to you. missing the crease between your eyelids, where id stare at through heartfelt sentences and avoid through sad silence.
im missing your teeth when you stutter
when we smoked out on your porch
and softer talk began to soften.
and i miss how my arm would die each time it would lay beneath you, yet i got distracted by your music and i think of nothing else but art and begin to write my loneliness in poems because its like im only content with life when im with you. (3:05 pm)