what scared me the most
is that those few moments before i could tell for sure
when i couldn't tell if the problem was inability to find
a pulse or a vein-
the weak, venomous veins-
were the only few moments that were still quiet
because nothing has seemed to stop since then
the screaming hasn't stopped since then
the screaming hasn't stopped since i started it

it could've been her

A Friday night of imbued strangers
Streets full of all walks of people
Mostly staggered and tipsy
Haggered and narrow minded
As they sing the only one anthem of
pumping  alcohol inside their veins

A Friday night of rejection and temptation
I couldn't give my cash to enter a joint
Thoroughly rejecting a norm construct
Unhumbled and judgmental
As they sing the only one anthem of
pumping  alcohol inside their veins

A Friday night of inspiration and joy
Where I saw a mirror of myself on the streets
Vagabound souls sat begging for a today
Justice and truth prevails
As they sing the only one anthem of
pumping  alcohol inside their veins

A Friday night of me sat on the ground
At the entrance of a busy closed shop
Begging for the homeless soul as people sneer
The abuse and hate ejected
As they sing the only one anthem of
pumping  alcohol inside their veins

A Friday night of broken promises
When all they do is try to have ******
People set traps of unfriendly gesture
The rotten and pompous society
As they sing the only one anthem of
pumping  alcohol inside their veins

A Friday night of me wooing the drunk
Melodious symphony of "change please"
Negativity beakers but we made money baibe
A reflection of minimalism
As they sing the only one anthem of
pumping  alcohol inside their veins

A Friday night of concluded perception
Their souls touched me, they can go back a time
They try but have no strength within
Sour love was the wound that brought them hassle
As they sing the only one anthem of
pumping  alcohol inside their veins

It's not a Friday night anymore, the dawn smiles
I have a warm home and access to facilities
They have no options and crack is their hope
Police huddles and societal direct abuse
As they sing a song for strangers to listen
For your smile and talk can be the only hope they got

You are a drug
handcrafted by the Devil.
Addiction came after
a single touch,
always craving “just one more.”
Everything used to feel like a dream,
but I don’t think
I’m dreaming anymore.
Traces of you still flow
through my veins.
I don’t want to be addicted anymore.

I had the Needle in my arm,but couldn't take the Plunge,
Like a Fencer Poised to do some harm,but somehow couldn't make the Lunge,
my life has gone to **** lately to be honest fellow chasers of the Muse,
so I started Chasing Dragons amongst other systems of abuse,
I made a new pal! Sal,my Dealer,what a Pal that Sal!,
he told me I was wasting time with Tinfoil,Lighter and all...
So I got my instructions (Safety first use clean gear!),
and Needle in vein,Thumb Poised I heard a whisper in my ear,
it said
Life's not so bad,compare yourself to millions without food,
or clean water or a future,or the horror of abuse ,
so with a Sting of shame I pulled the Stinger out and snapped the Wasp in half in disgust,
pulled out the rest of my stash and it duly got Flushed.
so that's why you haven't seen me lately Hello Poetry,sorry pals!...
*and there's a poster up looking for a missing Scumbag name of Sal

She whispers to me in the dead of night
I scream for her in the bright daylight
She's my sweetest siren, she sings  a fatal song
Such a rush, falling headlong
In her embrace nothing can go wrong
With her venom, I feel I belong

With a single fang
She spikes my vein
A sudden rush
The quiet hush
A body sigh
Touching the sky
Nodding out
No voice to shout
Wonderful phenomenon
Worries gone

She whispers to me in the dead of night
I scream for her in the morning light
Responsibility she slays
Chases memories away
My beautiful queen
Erases what I've seen
I have succumbed
I have become
In every way
Her prey

You can find me under a bridge, with a needle in my arm,
or at the bars where old men slide their hand up my thigh and I am pretending not to like it.
I like to play games like "which one of my boyfriend's brothers can I turn on the most" or "how many girls can I kiss in one night"
Usually the answers are -- all of them and the most I've gotten is 6

Please pass me the spoon
I need a hug from Jesus and I need it soon
My body needs to relax till it forgets to breath
Don't worry about the marks you can cover them with sleeves
A little ***** and the pain will all fade away
Let me nod out, I'll deal with it another day
Let my mind get lost in the sway
It's the ritual of the needle and the spoon
It's the hug from Jesus that can't come to soon

♡° ⊙ • ⊙ °♡
This place in my heart
There...
intimately aware
     Deep tenderness
Imbued with
illuminessence
Moonflowers
opening in the fullness
of the Moon's light
     Tonight
wrapped tight
threads of fear
Mama Pain
too great to fight
     A ragged slice
overflowing
with hurt by
unkind words
thoughtlessly
thrown my way
Self inflicted pain
when I doubt my inherent
Knowledge and Strength
     I know this part
of my heart
that holds
the wounded
collections of me
Keeping at bay
the ache that
lives within
     The Blessing is
that Love
surrounds
Wraps around
with Healing light
Shining within
to Hold The Power
     Allowing me respite
from the Sacred Locket
held in this place of
My Heart
♡° ⊙ • ⊙ °♡

Copyright © 2016. Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved

related poems...
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1483839/19/
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1465555/knick-knacks/
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1181941/it-hurts/