Mothers shouldn’t cry.


Hello Nan, I’m sorry I wasn’t there enough.
I miss you; God how I miss your love.
I try and try, but I just mess things up;
My heads becoming unglued, how do I carry on?


It’s all over the place, what’s forward or back?
Confusion falls all around us, what’s up with my head?
This can’t be real, come on your having a laugh;
I must be dreaming, am I still in bed?


It’s no dream, it’s the truth.  She’s dead and she’s gone;
She’s floating up above, to Heaven; her new home.
She’s been there all your life, from the moment you were born;
But she won’t be there to comfort you,
Through the grieving my Son.


Remember her best moments,
Like her cooking when you came home;
Remember the good times, not just this bad moment.
Remember the things, she taught us about life;
Remember her loving you, when you were just a child.


Always wanting the best for you,
But disappointed when we failed.
She could get angry sometimes,
But she could also make us smile.
You were like the Godfather, or Godmother of the family.
Without your guidance, where will we be?


Lost and confused, not really believing this is real;
Being forced to accept that you are not here; this is surreal.
I thought you’d live forever.  Not you; you can’t go;
Seeing all my life in an instant,
Wishing you were here for your Grandson.
Like you always have been, the permanent star.
Guiding us, leading the way for us;
Shining brightest for us all.


(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

if i had to pick one word
to describe my mom

it would be ineffable

she is beyond comprehension
her love has transcended
beyond every dimension
she exceeds every meaning i can see
i swear she puts the stardust
in the way my light bleeds
she is everything
beautiful about this world
weaved into a blanket of
incandescent vitality from above

i want to hug my soul so hard
for choosing such a woman
to be my guidance of love
she not only birthed me, clothed me,
and fed me as any mom innately would,
but she extended her heart in ways
that most humans on this earth never could
even imagine having the power to do
she lights up every single room
and leaves love dripping from
every corner too

she supersedes all roles she takes on,
and she continues to find ways
to make my life a dream
to say i am thankful
is infinitesimal in expressing
my gratitude toward all she has given me
in just my short 23 years of existing
she is truly beyond any poem or any rhyme
i could ever find— she is the most delicate
manifestation of the divine

i know not everyone has the ability to say
they have a mom that loves them
in this unconditional way
but we all have someone in our lives
—blood or not—
who has picked us up and guided us back
toward our light when the darkness attacks

and so if you’re still reading this
i hope you take the time to remind
this person from time to time
just how much they mean to you
even if you can’t put it into words
just hug them and tell them
they’re appreciated
because life is too short
and love is too sweet
to silence the drum
in our hearts
that they beat

Where can I put blame this time?
Who rescued me from this mess?
I am not the hero of my story,
It's time that I confess.

Nobody feels like I do about you,
You came along, gave me a rush,
I try to understand what makes
My heart pound fast when lips brush.

I stand myself in front of a mirror,
Trying to envision forever,
You are always there, it must be a sign,
Our ties weren't destined to sever.

Let me know you won't give up,
That even if you are not always there,
We have irreplaceable chemistry,
Between us we share.

I know this is what I want,
But not sure if what happened was right,
Learning to question everything,
Because sometimes I can't trust my insight.

Proud of the way I've handled
My decisions and mistakes,
I have deserved my obstacles,
The bumps and drawn-out heartaches.

I need to be sure of the future,
But I only see so far,
I'm so scared of falling down,
Every time I reach a star.

What I need is guidance,
And I never have the urge to pray,
Because I'm discovering there is no one listening,
To these desperate inquisitive words I say.