I wake up with anxiety
But within that panicked state
Thoughts of you move like poetry
Weaving in and out of any moment
Light and flowy
As familiar as the air I breathe
Goodmorning and goodnight
Were never special for me
But in this morning light
It's the first thing I want to read

I used to trace the acne scars down your back
Like a blind man reading a poem in braille

I like you
More
Than I like other friends
Somehow our connection
Feels
So much different
Much more intense
Thoughts
Spinning wildly in my brain
Knowing deep down
You
Could never feel the same
My feelings for you are
Unreal
They feel wild and dangerous
It's like ripping open my
Soul
Being immensely vulnerable
Constantly craving the
Honesty
Yet so viscerally afraid of the truth
I want to drown this part of
Me
Let it float out to sea
Pretend it's not
Real
Until that becomes reality
Til then I'll beg the
Universe
To let me be free
I'm so scared it's
Love
Too much, too fast, too me

Sometimes I get tired of listening
To you and your friends
Your antiquated ideas
I want to speak my mind
But I love you too much
I fear losing you
I fear your hatred
But your ******* is my fuel
You make me angry
And I turn that into my poetry

I wish I could stop you
And many others like you
So filled with loathing
For people who don’t live the way you do
So eager to carve their lives
So they could fit your view
I wish I could walk off
As soon as you open your mouth
But hate is another form of love
Another form of obsession
Keeping me glued to your side

But I will never comply, abide by
the nonsense rules
the path all the privileged ones like you
want us to go to
all it ever takes is empathy
something so unknown to you

I'm no longer lost and confused
  Found out whom I truly am,
  happy as ever, no one can bring me down.
  Gay and proud, no longer confused.

  If you feel lost and confused,
  talk, wait, figure it out.
  You, too, will be found,
No longer lost and confused.

I have a vision of my future
one I’m not sure could ever come true
A vision where the world won’t  judge
the love I share with you

A vision of my future
where I could have the guts
To hold your hand in public
Hold each other on the bus

I wish that I could find a place
where I will not be shamed
For gazing in your pretty eyes
that lack in any pain

I wish we could get married
without hearing a complaint
And no one thought twice of our lives and we were normal, plain

But as we walk the sidewalk
most people stare and gawk
As though we are a freak show
or evil they must stop

I only want to love you
Without living in fear
I wish that I could say “I do”
and keep my lovers near

A boy, sketching

         His friends, fellow neighbours, skinny dipping

This is not the first time,
      but what is indeed new are the imprints
                                  of streams, droplets;
                                        yelps, giggles;
                      the force of a tumbling body,
                                   or limbs on limbs,
    shivers and waves in his very young heart.

       He finds his nib forming strange contours,
               fingers tracing the imprints as much as his
                  eyes could picture,

          only to tear the paper, later,
             ripping out a flat, grimacing tangle of lines,
                   his friend, grotesque on canvas.

     Night beckons;
              his sketch, made anew, alive as
                     he lay within burgeoning wants
                           that he never wished
                                        before