We could be lovers,
or we could stay strangers,
but we can never be friends.

I struggle to find,
normalcy.

I either am abstract,
or elementary.

I either leave everything I love,
or suffocate it.

I either idolize myself,
or want harm in ways I can't admit.

I either reject everything,
or copy,
copy,
copy,
copy,
copy.




?

I only ask of you to aim for balance. No one, not even yourself, is expecting you to fall into another category of extremes. In life we have more than the black and white. I don’t just want you to see the grey, but the kaleidoscope of colors this beautiful world has to offer.

I know the world like no other
the centripetal force that
catapults me into the concrete wall
at my back which leaves
lashes of gravity
and welts and wounds that
remind me
the tides will turn and
I will careen towards
a blackness not even I can comprehend.

I know no middle ground
I live only in extremes
no gradations in my existence
leave me no steps
to descend the sheer cliff face
that I toe ever so recklessly
tempting that gravitational force
whose mere presence
fills me with righteous
distilled
rage.

There is no grey here
or is it gray?
-ey
-ay
I don't even know the orthography
well enough to describe
how the two sides of
me
the wraith and the goddess
could perhaps be intertwined
effervescent power
the cream swirling
in inexplicable patterns
until the coffee is a
calm
warm
and no longer bitter
on the tongue of those
whose life is not lived
only on the fringes
the afterthought
of a leather jacket
fallen out of style
decades ago
and yet still worn
as a reminder of the days when
I danced until my movements
fell in sync with the Earth's and
I stopped being able to
distinguish where
my root feet ended
and the moist midnight soil
began.

I know black
I know white
I know wintry obsidian nights
the darkness so thick
that even my sharpest blade
could never penetrate its
foreboding mass pressing in on me
I know truly endless summer days
when sleep is a forgotten virtue
and sunlight pouring through my window
warms me
and I photosynthesize joy
take all my nourishment from
the ambrosia of the sun.

In extremes there is no need
but want.

I like being egoistic
I like extremes
I think in extremes
I also answer in extremes
I like people who are extremes too.

Extremes come in pairs.
Happy.
Sad.
Love.
Hate.
Exuberant.
Depressed.
Flying.
Fall­ing.
These things go together,
And that's when they hurt the worst,
Or.
That's when they're the best.
Sad.
Happy.
Hate.
Love.
And so on.
The world seems to balance out,
But maybe we will all end on an upside.

life is so good
yet I long for
*chaotic extremes