A child’s daydreams;
They come, then, go,
They crystalize,
Then melt, like snow.

The young child plays;
She knows no troubles,
Her daydreams drift,
Like clouds of bubbles.

Her life, so simple now,
No stress, no strife,
May this remain so,
The whole of her life.

Water in my roots
And once again, my stems bleed me out of an aquamarine cyclone
Flying through every cloud, floating through the dopamine daydreams
manias and monotones
After a decade of droughts
I twirled in a tornado
While the demons ate my brain
So I designed a tavern
To lock myself in

Water in my roots
And once again, a blurred vision of ecstasy blinds my eyesight
Looking in opaque mirrors, pressing the pearls of the pendulum
sepias and saxophones
I danced through a hurricane
While the angels saved my torso
So I tore the broken chains
To let myself out

I'd rather live in my daydreams
Than live anywhere else
In my daydreams
I am loved fully
In my daydreams
I see the real me

If I could not daydream
I would be lonely
The rapture of love
Would not reach me
Time would ruin my soul
And leave me naked

I will make new daydreams
And soak myself in them
Forget my failures
My ruined promises
And repeat life again
Repeat and repeat and repeat

I will make new daydreams
And truth shall be in them
Not the lies of the crowd
Masquerading as divinity
And I shall live in this truth
Live and live and live

(Dear reader
You will be in my daydreams
As a lover, a monk, or a poet
Or maybe not, it doesn't matter
What matters is the play
Play and play and play)

was it how you made me laugh,
or how that laughter decimated
my sense of uncertainty
and lulled me into a temporary constant,
where,
in my ignorance,
a real version of me
fell into a faux version of you.

(6/21 at 10:36 AM)
this is where it started, you went full blast, with
[ssfydbso]
(6/24 at 8:12 PM)
cute words and flattery that made me laugh;
[mfsivv]
(7/3 at 1:11 PM)
the nicknames, if you could call them that, in the very least
[vks/sks]
(7/3 at 1:29 PM)
the way we matched
[sks/vks]
(7/6 at 10:13)
the unapologetic delivery
[v#1s/fc]
(8/19 at 12:52 AM)
although before i'd been skeptical, i soon fell into a habit of you, and when i confronted you, oops, little did i learn, how you felt, yet i still extrapolated
[ysaah]
(9/6 at 10:57? PM)
as you shared your music, you showed me new songs and i think i saved them all.
[DBL you said @1am but if i'm honest, i think you were projecting how you felt onto someone else, but maybe i know a thing or two about that]
(10/23 at 6:49 PM)
then things got out of hand, so to speak (wink, wink)
[hbbg]
(11/13 at 11:00 AM)
and i thought it would be a one-time thing, and it was, more or less, until the moment you texted, telling me i had invaded your dreams
[wtbalos? (edited)/(redacted)]
(11/15 at ??:?? AM?)
but when i reached out, in the dead of night, maybe you thought it had underlying meaning, when really, i was lonely and wanted to talk to someone, but that someone was mainly you, or the version of you i concocted in my mind.
[twtnajgd]
(11/24 at 10:53 AM)
and after months of reading into nonexistent nuances, and constructing a cacophony of daydreams involving you,
when i threw my phone out, like three days later - well, i did say three was my favorite number -
i reached out, for i wanted answers, and clarity and closure, and i guess i got it; i finally ******* got it and it drove me to poetry, where i spent the most time in a long time
on you, searching for screenshots for timestamps so this ******* poem is the most accurate it possibly could be, and i even maxed out the discord character limit - just on you, and that's something that i rarely ever do.
[biadttg]
(11/28 at 11:48 PM)
so, my phone is still thrown out, and i get my access back tomorrow, and now i must stick to the reasoning for which i threw it out in the first place, but i still seek out your name and activity on spotify,
(?/? at ??:?? AM&PM)
but i will work to curb that habit and every other one i have associated with you, and one day, they will all be but a distant memory