Lover, why I’m I afraid to die?
I belong to you. Knowing you,
a life worth living, because
I made something of myself.
In the process of it all. I had
become the man you’ve always
wanted and in you, a character
so exceedingly overwhelming
of true beauty, touching holiness,
you ended up saving me.
Smile for me now.
When it comes time to die,
I’ll render thoughts of you.
And take comfort and ease,
I’ll wait for you there, in other
kingdoms, where those brave
enough to go with their soulmate
in durations of horrifying true
and perfect love.
Than can people bloom.
Smile for me, again and again.

The thing about beauty, it has brought
me everything I thought I wanted.
Thinking it will bring me contentment.
(meaningful attention, deepening knowledge
gifts, conversation over the arts.)
How wrong I’ve been. Even though I
thought different. Muse, soothe me,
like roses, I’ve been drenched in thorns.
False-beauty believes in a image in
the mirror, the others don’t. Now that I'm
scared, I've formed another beauty,
a life lived.

Love cannot be articulated, it can be expressed during experience,
never to meet vain or envy. Worshiping all romance and
valuing everything. Pulling strain on everything else, resulting
in complete loss of value, if the love is true. Slow, feeling rapid,
waking conscious to both involved. Poet’s praise as others weep
in jealous-joy. Blooming flowers. The entire being is overwhelmed.
Never to meet the kind of love, that others do, that is somehow
always falls short, in its confinement of normal living and talk of
that the love I share with thy soulmate, does not exist. They
have never been and whimper in times of honest reality or at
the time of yearning redemption at death.

She could be a direct mediator between Heaven and earth,
Heavenly power - equal to Angels that help her muse over poetry.
Her earthly power, producing a new institution of philosophy and
the arts, along by sparking a new period of humanity, forgetting
any philosophy and art in our history, with passion. The fact
that her heart, mind, character and soul is all connected and tamed,
she is a walking Empire. I know, because I paid attention when
she tempted me with seducing beauty of smiles and glittering eyes.

At the heart of every frustration,
let it collide with fantasy,
while living freely here in reality.
No-longer notorious unable to express
in poetry. Beauty is the promise
and reward of personal illumination.
Some notice the yearning for,
few will attempt to fight for it
and rare is the one who masters it,
being called mystic.

Personal awakening, incurable
Reaching beyond everything
here on Earth, a permanent suffering.
For those undergoing the process
and for them who aren’t.

Ascetic purity of thought, dismissing worldly conditions,
prestige attained, mystics in a secular fashion, holy.
Personal impulses in constant growth, character in creed,
I’m alive, living in every moment, feeling what I’m
living for, something in complete freedom. The people
outside still have contentment, when they’re not around
(where were you when I needed help?). Being swarmed
by the locust. Unperturbed soul. I’ve entered the kingdom,
we all know that’s there, I’m touching immortality and left
who I know here, in the past, they’re-all dispersed like
the evening stars and stay put in memories. As for
the past is meant to be. No love lost, because no love
found.

**** sensibility
I need sensitivity
emotions
that pour
as black
as tar
from
the ashes
of our complexity.

Hard
Cold
Unfeeling
Prejudiced

You are my Darcy
and I love the pain.

I love you like the roof loves the shutters
I love you like blue loves green
I love you like 'school' loves 'zone'
I love you like rust loves metal
I love you like an oak loves its twin
I love you like the Moon loves the Earth
I love you like a magnet with the same pole
I love you like a star-struck poet loves a muse
I love you like someone who has never loved before
and I've written it a thousand times, but I've never said it to you
because I love you like Darcy loves Elizabeth
and I'm scared if I say it aloud, you'll hear it.