Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
I’m trapped in a room where the door is open but I can’t get out,

I’m screaming my head off but no one can hear me shout,

I’m struggling to breathe but there’s plenty of oxygen,

I crave an escape from this concrete metropolitan,

Blinded by this plastic smile they can’t see I’m stuck in my own personal hell,

I’m walking around frantically trying to get someone to notice that I’m an empty shell,

Tragically, I’m physically heathy with food to eat and a family yet I can’t seem to stop thinking about ending myself,

What’s wrong me, that I can’t be happy when I literally have nothing to be sad about?

But that’s the thing the numbness, you can’t stop it, it doesn’t discriminate,

It doesn’t care whether your a man, a women, a criminal, or a saint,

It just wants to fill you up till you can’t get out of bed,

It makes you a prisoner inside your own head,

Who could I tell? How would I explain it so someone could understand when I don’t even understand,

When I’ve succumbed to the madness who will lend me their hand ?

So I don’t tell anyone & suffer in silence, when the thoughts start creeping up again,

I smother them in cigarette smoke wishing I had prescription for Xanax or Vicodin.
I use to have chronic depression and so I’d try and drown it out with substances except it never worked

I’m not depressed anymore but every now and then I’ll have that fleeting feeling where I can remember the numbness

Sometimes i think I was the most creative in the loneliness but I would never what to be in that dark place again
Zeeshan Riyad Nov 2018
Loving you is like being addicted to cigarettes

I know I am hooked and I despise it

But my, Oh my! Will I ever stop smoking.
Rambling mumbo jumbo, sorry
Rowan Darcy Jun 2017
Alone at a bus stop one night I stood,
And thoughts of my life soon turned to despair,
At all I had done, and all I still could,
I lit up a jack to lessen my care,

No sooner had I exhaled the first puff,
Than stood there a vision, a man entire,
He spoke in a voice both smokey and gruff,
And bade me to name my heart's true desire,

"Tell me young man, what do you wish for?"
"Release I wish from the boredom of life,
I want to be free of the struggle for more,
I'm restless in peace, but seek it in strife,"

I started to say, then paused for a drag,
Spilling the smoke I went on with a breath,
"These days at my job make me want to gag,
If that's all there is then I wish for death."

A moment of silence shared in the night,
The dark form beside me once again spake,
"I can't grant what you ask, try though I might,
But one day your life I will surely take."

The figure departed, gone in a flash,
Vanished in flesh though still his voice lingers,
Alone at a bus stop, clutching at ash,
I stood in the dark with burning fingers.
Nathaniel Harley Dec 2014
You say you hate the taste of cigarettes in your mouth but yet here you are, lighting another roll.
You tell yourself that you hate the alcohol burning your throat yet you're always getting drunk.
You swear you don't do drugs but you're currently lost in Nirvana under a strangers bathroom sink. You say parties aren't your thing but that doesn't stop you going out every weekend.
You promise yourself that she's the last one as you sneak out of her bedroom window before moving on to the next girl you find.
Stepping school is bad you think as you sneak out of the gates with your best friend yet again.
You vow to change yet this life is
******* thrilling and old habits die hard.
- Vulgara
Umm so yeah I started writing again :)
I literally wrote this in five minutes so idk if its good.
Cold sweats and cuss words
Body weakened and defeated
To long for something that you dont want
To desire a quick death
My head, rings louder than a mobile phone during sunday service.
Stress seriously stirs within my day.
My will disintergrating litte by little,
I will fall
But I refused to break
Everyday, every step, every breath
a test against my myself
I wont give in,
I wont give up.

— The End —