behind monochrome layers of fog,
clouds,
ice,
are beauties of the natural world.
long forgotten and taken for granted,
a variety of reds,
blues,
yellows pile up.
our spectrum -
our prism of crystal glimmers -
fill up our everything.
now,
fading away in my remembrance,
remains nothing but a sheer shine,
a dazzling imagination
filled with extraordinary visions,
replacing the wonderland
outside of it.

Pain.*
Everywhere.*
In my head,
And in my heart.
Exploding against my consciousness,
It ***** the energy out of me,
As I sob and cry,
As I draw out my knife,
Prepared to die.
I would do anything,
Just to end my pain.
This misery,
This torture,
It kills me,
Inside and out.
It's time to end,
The pain I hid well.
So I'm going back home,
Back home to hell.

Life,
So full of joy.
Happiness made to be unbearable,
Laughing with friends,
Wishing everything could stay this way.
Suddenly you meet a person,
That changes your world.
Then you think that it's the one,
The one that was meant to be.

And that's where your hell begins

All you see then,
Is blurry but blood red anger.
Your mouth continues shouting,
Though your eyes are tearing.
Your voice comes out painful and sharp,
And yet it still shakes.
You think it'll be okay,
Then your friends begin backstabbing.
Mocking you,
Pulling you apart,
Bit by bit,
You slowly lose yourself.
Your family, you think,
Will probably listen.
But they have no patience for you,
No time to spare for you.
You fall into emptiness,
A void of only darkness
No longer do you see the sun as joy
But you glare back at it
Brown orbs turned red,
Filled with pure hatred.
You think to yourself,
Nothing in this world is good
You forget your personality,
Your character,
Your everything,
And soon,
You lose yourself.
Slipping away from all consciousness,
Then suddenly,
*Gone.

In the world, conflicts are strong
In this world, there's so much that's wrong
In our world, no one is giving
And in my world, nothing is living

My world is plain,
A simple black and white
All is monotonous with disdain
And then you came into my sight

My world burst with life
Rainbows and no strife
All my wishes were coming true
All of this because of you

We journeyed together
Continuing with our lives
Unaware of what awaited us
On the other side

The moonlight shone bright
And though the stars were dim
I could see what reality did to you
In that pool of red you laid in

Your hands were cold
Clutched to the blade that pierced our souls
For you were leaving this world of colour
Bringing it back into darkness but now with three colours

Black

The colour of my sorrow
My soul could no longer stay pure
There's nothing left to live for
Because I had lost my light

It is a chore
A curse, a suffering
I want to end it all with the very same blade
But I know you would want me to stay strong

White

When I go back in time
Thinking about summertime
When we danced with joy and laughter in our eyes
As our lips clash, knowing that you're there will suffice

For meeting you in dreams
Whenever I manage to escape from reality
I run to you, arms wide open
But my arms close into empty space

Red

Like all the light,
There are also darkness
Like the nights that I cry in my sleep
Awaking to the smell and feel of blood

My arms are sticky and my eyes are red
Bloodshot, exhausted and depressed all over again
Every day, I go through this grief
Now I hold my weapon, trembling beyond belief

I'm sorry for disobeying your final wish
That I wouldn't take my own life
But now listen to my death wish
There is no longer any point in life

Because with your soul leaving this godforsaken world
You took my heart and my spirit
Along with my world.

Back then, everything seemed simple
Always smiling, with that little dimple
Never were we sad, but rather the other
Being as close as sisters and brothers

Then everything changed, when I was pulled away
Forced to change, to leave, to go astray
I wanted to be with you guys, entering our future together
But my parents thought that this change of schools would be for the better

At first, we continued chatting nonstop
Our bonds were still going strong without a stop
But then suddenly, we were too busy to talk
And thus our friendship ended, quite much as a shock

I only wish that one day
We would again be together always
I will go to see you guys one day, soon
I swear this on the light of the moon

10 years later

I walk up to the dorm where I knew you guys were staying
And although one would not know it, I was silently praying
I open the door, to find no one in sight
But what really scared me, was that the place was dark as night

Dusty, as if no one had been there for years
I walk around warily, all eyes and ears
I saw a picture, of all of us from back then
Next to it was a scribble, with a paper and a pen

It had an address, so I assumed they had shifted
I walked my way there, but the place was restricted
To dark to see what the name of it said
So I thought all was good and would come back the next day instead

I came back, only to be stopped at a halt
My eyes became wet with tears that tasted like salt
I walked inside the compound, slowly until I found it
Their names written on tombstones, and thus, I fell, deep into a pit.

The "ifs" are all racing across my mind
It's all I can see, I'm walking 'round blind
I can only wish that I went back to then
To the past, and to where it had all began.

I remember

I remember having my teacher punish me every day
But it didn't matter, we would all be there silently going "heyy"
We'd do everything together, distance big or small
We'd always beg our parents to let us go out to the mall

Relaxing, having fun, all seems so far away
Now that reality's sunk in, all our joy is now delayed
Who knows for how long, now that we've stopped talking
I never expected it to end this way, it is beyond shocking

I try to move on, to try and make new friends
But then after a week or so, I was met with all dead ends
No one would talk to me, the way you guys did
So I sought you out, but of course, God forbid

Happiness is now a dream that's never meant to come true
I don't even have enough friends for a table of two
One would be empty, filled with thorns and vines
With no one willing to risk treading on this field with mines

I may always seem open, but I hide my feelings deep
Because I never want to be again, the one and only black sheep
The differences become wide, people start drifting again
But friends aren't the only things of which that I abstain

It's not the food I miss, just the sharing of it
We switched all the time, emptying the containers bit by bit
Laughing and talking with our mouth wide open with food
But it didn't matter, all that did was that our lives were good

I also miss, the bonds that we shared
So close, with our weird antics that people had often stared
I remember the crazy stunts we once did
Holding hands laughing, gigling, annoying that one kid

Now I'm all lost I don't know where to go
With no goal in mind, not without the flow
I've got no reason, to keep going on this way
"So maybe it'll finally end," I think, as I start a new day