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Nameless Sep 2015
Never again,
will my lucky numbers be:
17, 23, 19, 21...
My stomach turns,
when I turn the volume to 27.
... So I lower it to 16.
3 letters that scare me,
5 weeks for a life to decay.
One deer smiling
the other solemn,
eyes glazed over.
I am within the stars.
Orion, but without his belt.
I count the stars,
one, two, three, four----
A bug buzzes in my ear...
And I come down falling,
like a shooting start.
But it's not a beautiful sight.
And the bug,
The bug had to of stung me----
Because it hurts.
My eyes are closed...
But I have to ***.
I must make my legs leave.
Fast.
GO.
NOW!
AS FAST AS YOU CAN...
... just run?
I'm here...
The bug bite stings,
I want to sleep.
To dream,
A dream better than this!
But flash backs from the stars
Plague my mind-----.
I didn't dream...
I didn't dream a dream
better than this...
The bite is gone,
but it left a mark.
A mark the size of
a 7 to 8 year sentence.
And I used to love riding my bike.
But now...
I can't stand the sound it makes.
The seat.
The handle bars.
How at any moment,
The peddle could make you crash...
SCRAPPED, CRASHED, BURNED.
I'm safe...
'Not safe yet', Police say.
I hear chatter over their radios.
Why can't I tune everything out?
... Why lie,
But the truth was never any better.

And my eyes,
Why are they so dull and grey?
I could have sworn,
they were bright blue,
Like the sky...
But there's no color left.
3 letters that scared me...
3 letters that took away,
the color in my eyes...
Based on a recent traumatic event that I am still going through.
Petal pie Jul 2014
She drew an s  shape on my foot with a stick
I lay there, paralysed with fear,
thinking was this the subtle beginning
of a programme of torture.
Her white coat and stethoscope
glinting in the strip lighting.

She asked me if I knew where i was.
I lay there, frozen with fear,
not able to open my mouth.
I could read letters on her name badge
I read it as Dr Helliday
So that's where i was
I thought, that confirms it
along with her snake charming smile.

She tried to get me to drink
But I lay there stiff with fear,
not wanting to open my mouth
in case it was poison.
She placed a wet sponge on my lips
my eyes widening in terror.

Can you see how many fingers I'm holding up?
She said gently
I lay there tensed up with fear.
I thought it must be a trap
I couldn't open my mouth
and fall in.

I was seeing things around me
that pinned me to the bed with fear.
Patients pouring blood out of windows.
shadows of nurses in nooses.
I screamed inwardly.
But could not open my mouth
for fear had clamped it shut
After coming out of a two week coma, I was taken to a psychiatric ward, but was in this catatonic state, hallucinating, it was terrifying, and it turned out i had water on my brain, so was readmitted to a medical ward.

The Doctor was in fact called Dr Holliday, and this was 9 years ago. I am so thankful for every day since **
Rochelle R Jun 2014
Led by delusion in blinders,
Stilled by shackles on my hands and silenced with a *******.
This life is lived locked on the wrong side of the bullet proof glass.
Half truths are the only truth.
Every coin, every story, has only one side.
The path before, and for miles behind me, is filled with glass and burning coals.
My mind is free, but what point does it serve?
My auto biography is a lie, redacted by the masters of the universe.
This is my world.
This catatonic existence is self made.

— The End —