My substitute


If I was to be published then I would have no need for a wish.
If I held my own book in my hands,
Then that would mean that I had accomplished something.
If you were able to feel my poetry,
Then you would find me smiling.
I would always be smiling when I met up with you;
If only I could be.
If I ever succeed, then please accept a thank you from me.
If I never make it, then my existence will have counted for nothing.


Only time will tell if I ever did anything right.
With you on my side, I will at least have an eye,
On my future writing; you are my reason to try.
I hope one day I will be able to write something that everybody likes.


Fly on a wire; dance on the moon.
Sky dive into a career; parachute.
Become a light up in the sky.
Your name in brights; I love seeing through your mind’s eye.
You see all that I could be;
You believe in me like I never did.
I hope I do not disappoint;
All I have ever been is me.


Now through rose-tinted eyes I look at life.
So sad to be lost without a wife.
The one thing I always wanted, I will never have…
Please do not be sad.
I am where I am meant to be.
I may not have love,
But I love poetry…
It is my substitute for love and all other things.


(C)2017 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

Don’t let the *******
Get their foot through the door
Say yes once, at the wrong time
And you’ve said yes ten thousand times
Soon they’ll be taking the hours
From your life

It will happen slowly
Creeping up on you
Like glacial tides
Like choosing a Pope
Like *** cancer
Until one day you are consumed
And struggling only pulls the mud
Further up your throat

They get you with all the necessities
Food, water, beer, clothes, and cigarettes
It takes POWER to say no
Not a lot of people have power
At least, they say no to the wrong things
They’ll say no to a mid-week ******
And yes to the slow death of 8-5

You see the injustice in their eyes
You see they are looking for an escape
You know, though, that they wont
The ******* move in

They claim they already own the place
That they never moved in at all
They’ll start rearranging
The furniture of your life
Orientating everything in their image

Don’t let them in
Don’t even open the door
They’ll take everything-
But it’s yours to keep

To keep so long as you
Love their cruelty
And allow them the last thread
Of consciousness
That leaves your body before sleep

It’s yours so long as you
Turn up on time
And stay late
Punch the clock
And throttle all human smell

It’s all yours
If you give yourself to them
They will use up your patience
And then start on your confidence

Until they have you
Decorating your iron bars
With raised, clenched fists
Declaring loyalty to those
Who would drop you without hesitation

Soon, they’ll **** that spark
That Blue Moon spark
The one you feel when the sky
Mimics colours of happy memories
The one you feel when
You wake with movement in your bones
The one you feel when
A balloon swells in your chest
Or when ecstasy fills your spine
How the wind at the back of a motorbike
Blows the cobwebs from your mind

They’ll take it all away

They’ll take it all
Compensate you with a paltry sum
For all of your hours
For all torn relationships
You have no time for

They’ll turn the vice
A little tighter each day
Until you turn crazy-
If you’re lucky

If not
You’ll be there
Spent on purified sugar
And a lack of motion
To your days
You’ll be there
A hollowed shell
Of violent potential
Lost

Lost in timesheets and long weekends
You’ll take pictures
Of days spent in the sun
So that in your luxury
Your geriatric, loose-skinned luxury
You can look back
On your small life and say
“Hey, I did everything expected of me”

And that will work
For no one

Don’t let the *******
Get their foot through the door
You have no POWER to resist
You won’t be you anymore

a lawyer's
batch in
a brief
if hiring
direly break
trepidation that
equality *****
when a
state of
confusion interrupts
rights to
a genuine
occupy of
love where
intent only
makes mark
in society

stress blooming forward
in chest like
erratic butterflies flapping
away
and thoughts spiraling
down towards
my stomach where
they do not dissolve
in acid, no matter how
desperately
i ache for them
to leave me

times when
i think about my
future - they are not
etched in stone, they
are fleeting and temporary and as
miniscule as grains of sand

how could they be anything
more than dust
when the possibility
of any greatness
or worthiness
or meaning
is so
tiny, so
small
as to not
even
be there at all

I Appreciate the Blaze and the Glory
To Die in Nashville Tennessee
It was a Fluke
But to have come this far
As the focus of much anger
Certainly its been reckless
But this is my way
I never ran at the first sign of Life
* *
For I am Known
For just 42 Words
A would be Superstar
I won and I performed
* *
I'll say it three times
Thank You
Although the Sickness now abides in me
I've left a Soundtrack you can afford
For Future Worlds
I'm not going to miss you

I realized recently

That my biggest fear

Is

Living a boring life.

Not necessarily a life full of regret,

But a life in which I never built my own door of opportunity,

Picked the lock

And stepped inside.

A life in which I never took the risks I knew I had to,

If I wanted even the chance

Of becoming a singer,

Actress,

Comedian.

Not that I mind the regular route,

But that one is already barely guaranteed in the first place.

I don’t even know what job I’d enjoy.

How can I continue like this?

Not knowing if I’ll be okay at the job I’m studying for.

Living comfortably is a luxury these days.

What if I’m not cut out for commission work?

I’m terrified.

It could all be a waste.

I just want to coast if I can’t be happy.

But what if coasting isn’t an option?

What if just managing isn’t an option?

What if I can’t do it?

The whole point is to find a better job, one where I rarely cry because I’m trying my best and it just isn’t good enough.

I hate this misconception, that Millennials are lazy.

I’ve worked my *** off, and I will continue to because that is required to survive.

I’ve worked harder at my minimum wage job than many at their 60k a year plus benefits.

I’m just worried that I’m making the wrong choices,

Because there is information I just cannot know as of yet.

And I could have set myself up for the best, right now.

But I don’t know what that is.