You were the epitome of cliche jokes and the feeling of a warm fire after being in the cold.
You were the glue to keep the 1000 piece puzzle together.
You were forgiveness in hardships
You were hammer and nails on the tool belt that a worker wore with pride each early morning and every sweltering day and all the long nights
You were dancing to commercial jingles
You were waking up excited Christmas morning to pancakes
You were trust
You were more than 2 family gatherings on holidays and having time stretched thin between the different 5 ones we had to go and choosing which one we wanted to attend
You were a secret holder
You were making weekends an hour long trip every weekend
You were holding hands with my mom while you drove and talked and laughed so
You were taking the role of "dad" when the one who fathered three kids didn't want to be
You were love in its best form
Until you weren't

I think of you whenever
I pass a donut shop.
I see you making coffee
And hovering over the dozen,
Making a game out of picking a donut.
I think of you whenever
I put up Christmas lights.
I see you in front of the church,
Stringing lights on the cross with
The agility of someone half your age.
I think of you whenever
I sit in Bible class.
I see you with your legs
Sprawled out on the pew,
Asking great questions and
Leading thoughtful discussions.
I think of you whenever
I see your grandchildren
Running around in the sun,
Enjoying the life that you gave them.
I think of you whenever
I think of heaven, and I know
That’s where you are, having
Coffee and donuts up in heaven
With your Maker.
Hallelujah!

I gave you a chocolate bar last night.
As if that could soften the blow of divorce.

A divorce that hits,
With all of the force
Of things that came before
the last few scenes
Of this remorseful divorce.

I invited you to breakfast.
As if eating cancer inducing bacon with our children,
Will close this void.

A void that has grown,
As you try to avoid
Eye contact with the man who annoyed,
But was gravely ill
And took no joy
As his marriage became
This hideous void.

I love the smell of freshly signed divorce papers in the morning (sic).