you texted me...
i thought you never would
i missed you
so much of me wanted this
but this isnt how i thought it would be

i cant help but feel
like you have something else in mind
i cant fall for you again , i made a deal
i cant keep hurting myself over you
i cant apologize

its not that i didn't like you , i did  
but you never saw it
because it wasnt in the way your used to
so you had a fit like a little kid

i changed alot and im scared
i dont want you to hate the new me
that took so long to build
because no one else cared

im naturally a sad person
i write depressing poems
and i changed the way i dress
i want to be spontaneous
i forced myself to buy a thong
it sits in the back of my drawer
cause i still  hate my body and it just feels wrong
but i'm determined to change that
to love ever curve and stretchmark
even when my stomach isnt flat  

i dont know how long this is going to be
but im going to be the most authentic me
if you dont like the new me
then well you can leave again
but this time dont come back
just let me be