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Michelle Jul 2014
fill my lungs with smoke

I light cigarettes,
in hopes that i will forget you.

i cant

I light cigarettes,
in hopes that the smoke will wash away your scent.

spices and vanilla

I light cigarettes,
in hopes that i will forget how you tasted.

coffee and bagels

I light cigarettes,
in hopes that the fires i start will burn a hole in my memory so i can forget the colour of your eyes, or how they gleamed like sapphires.

i still see the sapphires

And the truth is,
i cannot forget you,
Or how you smelled like spices and vanilla,
Or how every morning when i kissed you and you’d taste like the bagels and coffee that you had,
Or how your eyes are the centre of my universe, and how they glimmer like distant stars a million light years away.

These cigarettes are not enough,
they do not intoxicate me as much as my thoughts of you do.

And even if i tried to drown myself in the deepest oceans,
or if i tried to throw myself off the highest buildings,

i will never, never, be able to forget you.

fill my lungs with smoke
originally written on my private blog on the 22nd of june 2014 chatoyantailurophile.wordpress.com
Michelle Jun 2014
your bones,

they protrude

at awkward angles,

where the veins meet your muscles.



the thick grey lines,

cast on your ivory skin,

like waves on the violent ocean surface,

the shadows from your bones.



from your collar bones,

to your ribcage,

to your hips,

to your thighs,

and to your ankles.



the lack in the amount of flesh,

the lack in the amount of muscle mass.



to me they were perfect.



your bones,

they were just

beautiful.
August 24th, 2013, originally posted on my private blog chatoyantailurophile.wordpress.com
Michelle Jun 2014
I yearn for a sombre eternity.
I yearn to be the diamond of your universe.

But i have been forgotten,
like shooting stars of the 1800s

I believe we had something,
a glowing spark that hung from fragile dynamite wires, threatening to detonate into a full blown love affair.

Day by day, your interest faltered, sending me into depths of sadness.
And i’d cry, every night, for i now knew, that our love was a dying flame, the kind that you see at the end of almost finished candle wicks.

And so my eyes bled, they bled sorrow and pain, and they made the spark on the dynamite wire die out. And there was smoke, and for a while, i was lost.

And the dynamite never blew up, and the love that could have been, never was. And here i stand, broken and bruised, just hoping you would find me again, and reignite the spark.

Because in all truth,
I really, really, really wonder what it would be like to be with you.
i have been forgotten, like the shooting stars  of the 1800s.
Michelle Jun 2014
I am plummeting.
Faster than the speed of light.
That even time slows down.

I am plummeting.
Falling from the the clouds.
Into the deepest depths of the ocean.

I am plummeting.
Like an angel with wilted wings.
All innocence is lost.

I am plummeting.
Headfirst.
And i do not struggle.

I am plummeting.
A dying light.
I no longer shine.

I am plummeting.
My lungs are tired.
My screams shall not be heard.

My tears shall be the diamonds,
they glisten and radiate my sorrow.

The angels are crying too.
Because they know,
They cannot save me.

I am plummeting.

*Catch me.
the angels are crying too because they know they cannot save me

— The End —