Hi my name is Spencer Carlson
And I swear to god that I'm an alien
And all my attempts to be human
Have only left me more isolated.
As the boy waits
To get drunk at the party scene
A nomadic nowhere man
Dreams of what life really could have been

And I'm
Sitting here listening
To silence waiting
For it to finally
Change it's key

And I would give anything
To hold you through the night and
Tell you that everything
Is gonna be alright but
My arms are tentacles
And my teeth are razor sharp
And every time I reached out to you
You always pushed me back into the dark

And I'm
Sitting here listening
To silence waiting
For it to finally
Change it's key

And I wish that I never knew
I wish that I never knew
What it takes for you
To forget the pain that's haunting
That’s haunting you

I dream to be the one
To save you from this hell but
Everybody else shows you
Ways to save yourself so
What does that make me?
I don't know I'll
Never be as good as a drug
So I will just go where

I'm
Sitting and Listening
To Silence waiting
For it to Finally
Change it's key

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/alien

If you complain than they'll just hold you back
If you go crazy than they'll just laugh
It's empathy that they lack
A normal need that holds you back
It's easy for them to call you selfish
If you wont bend to their will
They'll imprison you in pointless arguments
That gives them some kind of sick thrill
But you've got your future fixed
That no one can bend or break
A small metal ticket
That will rapture you from this place
So you'll forget this cruel
And you'll just slip away
Unwanted and unneeded
Just like it's always felt
You looked me into the eye and I just looked away
I didn't have the time or strength to save you from your pain
So you've made your agreements
That you are a disappointment
That you are worthless
And that you should just end it

But I love you
I love you

And they labeled you a *****
But I can see a whole lot more
I can see your broken heart
Every time you open up your arms
He just wanted some cheap fun
But you needed someone
To come and save the day
And make everything seem okay
This is the only place you can go
'Cause this is all that you know
Suicidal Cyclone
Media influenced drone

But I love you
I love you

And you think you're clinically depressed
But I think you're romantically suppressed
You don't have to get undressed to impress me

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/no-name

I used to be myself, I used to be complete
But people thought I was trying to hard to be something
So I changed myself into what I'd thought they'd want
Now I live my life pretending I belong

I have searched high and low for some kind of validation
But all I ever found are people with more expectations
So I will love with all I can
And hope that some day I'll finally feel like a man

I don't want to waste your time for you to figure out who I am
And I don't want you to waste mine just to leave me for who I am
My head might be my home but I am willing to leave
And if you show that you want it I'll give you the key

The only thing I learned in this world is to shut my filthy mouth
'Cause no one really cares about what comes out
I'm done trying just to be heard
So that I will have to rely on little birds

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/little-birds

Everyday is like an earthquake in my head
Just another reminder that I'm not dead
And everyday I see you is the day I wish I stayed at home
And every time I run away is the time I see my weakness
'Cause it's so much easier to burn down these bridges

Sorry for walking out on you
Sorry for walking out on you
'Cause you promised you would never do it to me

And I'm tired of trying to forget about every girl that doesn't like me
'Cause the weight of my bitterness is tearing a bigger hole in my heart
And pain is strong and it too moves on until it gets what it wants
That no one can tell that this empty shell once held a person

Sorry for walking out on you
Sorry for walking out on you
'Cause you promised you would never do it to me
Sorry for walking out on you
Sorry for walking out on you
'Cause you promised you would never do it to me

And I've been trying to make this life work all on my own
I push myself so hard and yet feel so alone
I've been moving forward chasing every love that I see
Until I realize true love has been behind me the whole time

Sorry for walking out on you
Sorry for walking out on you
'Cause you promised you would never do it to me
Sorry for walking out on you
Sorry for walking out on you
'Cause you promised you would never do it to me

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/amberson

My best friend has met the love of his life
And I'm still trying to figure out mine
I got three friends and a hundred acquaintances
And this feeling my life will never change

Walking around town with my iPod
I look in every girls eyes hoping they'll see mine
I listen to their pain hoping they'll take mine
And it's in there stories I find

That we are waiting to be rescued
Every last person waiting for time to reverse
We are waiting to be rescued
And it'll only stop for us when our hearts finally burst

All my love ends in the bedroom
'Cause that's the only place it ever was
It's fun but I'd rather have
A relationship instead of a heart full of regret

I listen to her story and begin to think
That her pain and sorrow sounds familiar
I wonder how can she complete my life
When she's just as broken as me
Oh yeah, only a human being

My arms feel so empty
My arms feel so empty
My arms feel so empty
But my heart is full
And I can see that you're alone
So I'll wait, until I can rescue you

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/until-i-rescue-you

This girl doesn't know who to be
She feels like Cinderella
Locked in a castle with a dragon
She's waiting for her hero
Her mother says she has to be strong
But the weight of the world is bringing her down
Her mother says she can be like the men
But what kind of girl wants to be one

She just wants to be loved
So what are you doing to her
She just wants to be loved
So what are you doing to her

She used to go to her dad
And ask if she was beautiful
But now that power line is dead
Waiting for someone to pick it up
She's given her love in desperate attempt
To boys who pose as men
They'll tell her she's beautiful
And leave her broken again

She just wants to feel beautiful
So what are you doing to her
She just wants to feel beautiful
So what are you doing to her

Where you gonna go
With all that love
That no one knows
Where you gonna go
With all that love

What about the girl who's worth was stolen by lust
One man's deceit has broken all her trust now
She hides in the bedroom
Waiting for the pain to go
She feels completely worthless
And no one will ever know

She just wants to feel worthy
So what are you doing to her
She just wants to feel worthy
So what are you doing to her

What about the girl who's life is covered by shame
Who's heart is held back by a wound that opens everyday
Some girls run away, some girls have to hide
They think they'll never be loved with all the pain they have inside

She doesn't need a pervert
She needs someone strong
To tell her that he loves her
As he holds her in his arms

And Satan was the angel of morning
Covered in shining glory
He thought he should be king
So his beauty was taken in defeat
Now he goes around destroying anything beautiful
Like a selfish pre-teen girl in middle school
Satan attacked eve
'Cause he was raged in jealousy

So don't worry, It's not because you deserve it
It's only because someone's jealous
Don't worry, it's not because you're worthless
It's only because you're glorious

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/for-all-the-ladies

I hate my life is written on the pavement again
Like a chalk outline of his hope that died long ago
All the appointments and disappointments are a battle for his joy
All the loss and resignation have stained his soul
The warmth hugs him on his way to work
And the stars sing to him at night
Yet all he sees is his home empty and dark
And he's waiting for something to change his life

And his confidence goes where his confidence comes from
And his confidence goes where his confidence comes from

You've been trying to be big in the eyes of the world
But this world leaves you to do life all on your own
Just because you've been abandoned doesn't mean you are alone
Unbelief has driven your soul but you still got a home

And you confidence goes where your confidence comes from
And you confidence goes where your confidence comes from
And you happiness goes where your happiness comes from
And you confidence goes where your confidence comes from

You don't have to be right
Wouldn't it be nice to put your guard down
You don't have to be busy
Wouldn't it be nice to slow down
You don't have to be perfect
Wouldn't it be nice to know
You don't have to be anything this world wants you to be
You don't have to do it on your own
You don't have to do it on your own

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/abyss-of-unbelief

Here am I with my foot in the door
I'm sorry it couldn't be anything more
I'm either too much or not enough
I'm sorry I couldn't get in your head
And understand
Understand what you want from me
What you want from me

I asked a friend
What he finds
And he told me that girls
Will ruin my life
But I didn't accept it
I didn't accept it
'Cause I got hope
That he don't know
But you wont see it
You wont see it
When you leave me alone
When you leave me alone

I've got enough problems on my own
Yes, I've got enough problems on my own
But I would love you enough to let them go

So I'm letting go
So I'm letting go
And if you love me
Yeah, if you love me
Wont you let me know?
Wont you let me know?

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/oh-youre-that-kind-of-boy

What about the girl who hides behind her faces
Bitterness is the only thing she has to keep
She wants someone to sweep her off of her feet
And keep her held there in perfect ecstasy

What about the girl who wastes all of her beauty
Her absent father didn't tell her she's worth more
She tries to find a boy to fill in her heart's void
She'll feel her life's complete as he slips out the door

Don't you want someone to love
Don't you want someone who'll never give up
Don't you want someone who'll make you feel enough
Don't you want someone to love

What about the boy who keeps messing up
No one to forgive him he doesn't know where to hold his heart
He gives it to girls who don't even know him
How can they when he doesn't even know himself

What about the boy who spends his love on pictures
Doesn't know how to fight for a real girl anymore
He calls her a mystery and gets caught up in his prison
Until beauty is as numb his heart

Why deny him of someone who can take mistakes
The only one who can pick him off the ground
Why deny him of the best beauty around
Someone who'll never deny him of the man he can be

What about the quiet kid in the corner
Never had a father to show him how to be strong
His happiness goes as far as his voice goes
He'll never know his own role in changing the world

What about the kid who acts like a fool
He desperate for any kind of acknowledgment
He's given himself away so many times before
He'll soon be gone with no place to go

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/aura

I walk around hoping
Someone will stop what they're doing
Walk beside me

But the only time they ever stop
Is to just stare
And wonder what the hell I'm doing there

They have all their plans
They have all their friends
And everything they need to make them

Happy

I wish I could be more
Than just a door
That just a window

I dream to be a house
To hold you inside
Keep you dry and safe from the world

But you never saw me that way
Would never let me be
The one to make you

Happy

And you had your back up boyfriends
And every time I questioned them
You asked me why I don't trust you

But trust is just a prison
That you hold me in
This isn't love

So I'm down on my knees
Begging you please
To set me free
So I can be

Happy

https://spencercarlson.bandcamp.com/track/happy