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AJ Jan 2015
Why did you forget about me?
you said I'd interested you then you stopped talking
#6w
AJ Jan 2015
Sorry you hate me so much.
Sorry I can't help but throw words of advice at you,
but you are so sad,
and you had brought me down in the months I've known you,
and it's such a habit to bring you back up instead of bringing myself up.

Sorry she tore your heart out of your chest,
and you can't help but keep ripping up the pieces,
but don't you see she's not even remotely close to being "worth it"?

Sorry I made you talk to me again,
after I told you stop,
but you made the promise that you wouldn't leave,
although how many times has that promise been made?

Sorry I want to find you,
and scream at you to make you understand
that no girl will ever understand you,
like I understood you,
when I stayed all night with you the night I came home after a long trip,
and all we did was talk about the stars,
and I saved your life for what seemed like the millionth time.

But I'm even more sorry for not even wanting you,
and for you not wanting me,
and for you being blinder than ever,
because you depend on others to be your happiness,
and aren't you aware that's the most self destructive thing you can put on yourself?
Nothing hurts more
Than loving someone with all of your heart
While knowing they'll never feel the same

That every glance, touch and word
Is just another trivial event in their day
Yet any little exchange lights up your entire universe

And how you can accept every ounce of their being
For all their flaws, scars and broken pieces
But pettily find beauty in every imperfection
Stupid heart. Liking people who can feel the same. Tsk tsk tsk.
AJ Jan 2015
Instead of stealing glances at me, then turning away when I feel your sneaky eyes burning on me and pretend I don't exist,
how about you stop acting like nothing had happened between us.
Stop acting like you never hugged me so tight that first week of school,
wrapping me in your arms like I belonged there and at one point I thought I did.
You're acting like you never kissed me once gently,
then let the words "**** it"
escape your lips before you grabbed me around the neck and kissed me again,
hard enough it seemed like the world stopped and it was just us.
Kissed me until I was seconds from ripping your clothes off,
but I pushed you away because I can sense toxic,
and hell, you were beaming.
Stop acting like nothing happened,
like I don't exist,
and instead of stealing glances,
buy one.
AJ Jan 2015
the pills made me feel something when the boys didn't.
I had started taking mouthfuls of migraine medication to make my body slow down that now if I take it normally to make headaches go away, everything becomes double and I'm ill.
AJ Jan 2015
They say a semicolon is used by an author
when they could’ve ended a sentence,
but chose not to.
In a way, we’re all authors,
writing our stories out as the days go on and on,
as they fade from as golden as a crown,
to as dark as a melanistic fawn.
You see, I’m the author of my life.
I had the choice to force a period to the end of a few sentences
as my short life moved forward on countless occasions,
to stop the clock from ticking,
the heart from beating,
but no.
Because my story is far from done.
I will forever keep adding semicolons until my pen runs out of ink,
or until I can’t find the courage to keep on writing.
I have more fights to keep fighting,
mountains to keep climbing,
a million lies to tell, and a million sorry’s to
bandage the hurt,
a thousand kisses to receive from strangers
and family and friends alike
until the word “suicide”
is nothing but a fading page in my life story.
And if I ever want to add a period,
such as when I’m when I’m feeling as blue
as the eyes of the boy who shattered my heart into pieces,
I’ll remember the semicolon,
and how my short little story doesn’t need to end just yet,
now does it?
cheesy semicolon poem for english, *******
it's the draft version, cause it's too long and missing a lot of pieces needed but hey oh well
  Jan 2015 AJ
WickedHope
I'm addicted to having my heart broken

Sometime while he's groping my chest
He rips my heart out of it

I live for being lied to

Keeping my eyes covered staying blind
As to only rely on his words

I'm crazy about being a game piece

To be handled and moved wherever he pleases
For toys are meant to be played with

Mostly though
I'm addicted to having my heart broken
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