Sometimes I feel so lonely my soul
Quivers, my entire being shakes and
Shivers until my plump heart becomes
Hollow like the last hopes I
Swallow in nervousness, praying, praying...
I've fully rejected that love will find me
Alive so I might as well die
Early so that Death will
Surely love me all the way to the
Grave.

Every man
I have ever
Loved
Admired
Or even
Respected
Has in some way degraded me
Unforgivably.
This is why I prefer to meet them in passing,
As shadows with hard fingers and
Leers
Or as ghosts with an extra tip
For the pretty waitress.
I cannot love
Admire
Or even
Respect them
If I really see their faces.
So I don't
Look.

love is a battle field and not many of us are willing to fight. Most of us just want the rewards but how many will actually brave the war for love?. Don't be one of the soldiers that sit back and watch the other soldiers fight . Lace up your armour and get your shield ready, its time you fought for what's yours.

and I will
bare every
burden
that it brings
me.

Why?

Because you
are worth
it.

I rearranged the scars on your arms and formed a roadmap
I asked you to take me somewhere
                                                               and you took my finger
                                           and you traced it down their paths
we went for a walk and
                                                             ­           I went every place
                                                           ­                    met every face
that tried to rip you open
but you sealed yourself back up
and when those scars healed,
then so did you
                                                    like the time your mother left you
you left four scars on your left wrist
and later,
three more on the right
                                                             or when your father left too
you left nine scars on your leg that night
you placed them carefully in a way
so that they spelled out DAD
                                       don't forget the time she broke your heart
you left 12 scars on both your thighs
one for every month you were with her
(you still stayed six months after that)

there is a pattern of broken hearts
but i won't be another scar.
                                                        i erased the lines on the map
                                                          we forgot they ever existed.


                                                          *smn­di

in the most
simplistic way
i wanted him
and sometimes
i wanted all of him,
every season of his
mind and body
i wanted
cutesy notes on monday
slurred i love you friday nights
lazy sunday morning breakfast
then again
i never expected anything
from him
as much as i would have loved
to be under his skin
it was enough for my heart
to simply be
on his skin