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strtyma Nov 2018
He drew elaborately but never nicely.
He drew flowers, cigarettes, and tears.

He drank elaborately but he never cried.
He drank beer but never flavored strawberry.

He collected his empty cigarette packets in his drawer,
like I collected the broken hearts and beaten skeletons of lost lovers in my closet.

In his black car, I looked down at the city lights at night,
while he looked in my eyes.

I let him touch my body and I let him touch my mind,
parts of me no one has ever touched or seen.
He let me delve in the tunnels where he hid his feelings, nightmares and dreams.

I never counted the days.
He took me to a zone of another time.

His upper lip was as scarred as his mind.
His eyebrows were softly arched trails for my thumbs.
His eyes were as dark as he wanted his soul to seem.
The darkness appeared on his skin only in the shape of a black tattoo of a rose that I’ve touched but never kissed.
Perhaps others have seen sparks of the little but strong light deep inside his heart,
but only I felt it with my hands and let it drown me.
Only I felt his warm tears rolling down my own cheeks.

The first time he said he loved me was the last time we talked.
He was in tears and in pieces.
And then he left me peace-less.

He was the only boy I haven’t told about love
even though he was the only person my heart had learned to love.
Nov 2018 · 174
the love you gave
strtyma Nov 2018
My feelings a temple
My body a shrine
In your honor

Carve your secrets with your fingers deep into my skin

Light the candles in my eyes with your raging flames

Teach me the anthem of your name for me to sing
for me to scream
in a voice of sheer emotion

Touch me with your Midas hands
make me glow like gold
make me hard like gold

Hold me with chains of sapphires and emeralds so I never leave

Hold me with chains of sapphires and emeralds so you never grieve

Arms lifted, eyes wide, lips plumped, hair pulled, skin smothered

Watch me beg you for everything but mercy
Jun 2018 · 278
My neck is sore tonight
strtyma Jun 2018
My neck is sore tonight
I don’t know why
I can’t sleep
I don’t know why
The people who made my heart full are dead
The people who made my heart empty are dead
I should be able to sleep

I want to be held
But I don’t want the people I know to hold me
I want to cry
But only in front of a complete stranger

Do I miss him?
Do I miss her?
Even though they watered my sorrow?

I miss everyone when I’m lonely

My life is empty
No goals
No games
No pleasure
No purposes
No love
No lovers
No feelings
No rhythm
No rhyme
Nothing at all

But yet here I am
Overwhelmed with tears




                                             hold me
                                                   please



My neck is sore tonight
I’ll get it eventually
Jun 2018 · 278
Good-hearted
strtyma Jun 2018
Being the bad guy in someone’s story doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person.
You’re not a bad person. ♡
May 2018 · 265
cry
strtyma May 2018
cry
cry in my arms
they wait outside
I’m still by you’re side, but what have you done

cry in my arms
and close your eyes
but don’t fall asleep until they’re gone

cry in my arms
I’m holding you tight
I don’t understand why do they scream

cry in my arms
I won’t say a word
just please tell me about what do you dream

cry in my arms
break and shout
do whatever you need to feel alright

cry in my arms
I’ll stroke your hair
forget everything; I’m here tonight

cry in my arms
you’re not alone tonight
May 2018 · 654
over & over
strtyma May 2018
How many times does a person die throughout one lifetime?
May 2018 · 545
Empty
strtyma May 2018
She drew people all the time, but if she’s asked to draw herself, she’d leave the page blank.
I wrote this last winter when I was angry...
Apr 2018 · 396
cycles
strtyma Apr 2018
chase it
leave it
crave it
need it
the four seasons of my heart
Jun 2017 · 274
Midnight Thoughts #1
strtyma Jun 2017
The only thing harder than being with me, is being me.
I haven't slept all night last night trying to understand
Jun 2017 · 525
you were like the sun
strtyma Jun 2017
you were like the sun
looking at you hurts
I tried to look away
but to who else can I turn

you were like the sun
your gentle touch burns
but without you next to me
how can I feel warm

you were like the sun
you always gave me life
but also like the sun
you'd leave me every night
May 2017 · 874
False Hope
strtyma May 2017
When you left me
I left my phone on mute the whole time
just in case you called

One year later
I'm still sad when I look at my missed calls
and dont see your name

Two years later
I hope you haven't forgotten my number yet
I still wait

Three years later
I realise it's been a while since my phone was on mute
I finally moved on

My phone is no longer on mute, but
I still am.
May 2017 · 744
Feelings
strtyma May 2017
My life is me torn between
feeling everything at once
and feeling nothing at all

So feelings, where do you go when the one who loves me kisses my lips?

Yes feelings, where do you come from when the one I love slips from my fingertips?
Apr 2017 · 377
I don't know how to love
strtyma Apr 2017
You hold me close
and help me bloom
I kiss your lips
I leave the room

You call me once
You yell out twice
I never come
I'm paralyzed

I wish you well
I wish for you
I wish to know
what you're going through

I rise in pain
I fall in love
I look away
I look above

I feel the night
I fear the day
I fear your smile
What do I say?

You hold me close
but I'm far away
I kiss your lips
Why can't I stay?
Apr 2017 · 356
Rusting
strtyma Apr 2017
she's beautiful she's perfect she's made of stardust

her heart is made of gold but it's light and it begins to rust

her wary eyes flee love whenever they chase lust

to the bitter words of fire her fingers readjust

under the heat and the pain in their lives she buries her guts

and all the laughs the songs and lies all the smiles she still trusts

she breaks away from yesterday and crazily cuts

cuts the clouds in nine pieces and drinks their sawdust

"***** the stars, ***** the moon," the innocence in her cussed

she grabbed the sun blew it up and violently fussed

fussed about the whereabouts of the ages of just

she clung on to the summer breeze but fell with the ghosts

she cries and laughs and screams and cheers before she combusts

and that's how her heart of gold started to rust

she's beautiful she's perfect she's made of layers of dust
The first poem I share ♡♡

— The End —