they think that you are their friend
but are you?

yes, you are their friend
but they aren't your friends

how that's possible ?
maybe because they don't notice

they don't notice that
they are interrupting you all the time
that you don't finish your storys
that you are laying
and believe me you're bad at it

they even don't notice
that you're disappearing
that you're fading away
and that that you're hurt

such a good friends
but why?
why you are still their friend?

you're still hoping
you're such a stupid girl
but they don't notice even that

to be honest
everything happened too slow
and too fast at the same time
i didn't understand what
did or did not happen

what did you wanted
to fall in love or brake me
to kiss or argue
to know me or know yourself

you said that you're selfish
i think you said so many things
at the same ******* time
so don't say i didn't understand you
because at the beginning you didn't let me speak
and in the end
i understood that the beginning
already was the end

but still i'm so sorry
for everything
I did or did not do
and for everything
what did or did not happen...

you know what's so ironic?

I love this planet...

but in this place i can't
imagine myself being happy.

have you ever thought
how would you want to die?

i have

burning to death
would be too noisy
too red i guess
and i don't like red

taking pills
would be too fast
and too painful i guess
i'm tired of pain

jumping of height
would be impossible in my town
and too fascinating
it would be like flying

but imagine drowning
i think it would be magical
water have always called me
time would stop
i wouldn't hear anything
and stop breathing
but i still would be there
in silence, in stillness,
in water, in calmness,
it would be like
a holidays for eternity
.........

sometimes i'm feeling like a empty bag
yeahh sometimes people fill me
but it's not for long

because they all need their content back

and then i'm empty again
and again
...

yesterday I met a girl,
i think she is from wonderland
magical hair and sparkling eyes
sadly sweet words came from her mouth
and i thought, where she has been all my life.

i needed true friendship back then
but she is offering it now,
i wonder can i be true to her
because i even can't be true to myself
but maybe, maybe we can try.

i really didn't believe that "almost" was possible...
i strongly believed that everything
either happened or didn't happen
and then everything was black or white
i guess there wasn't in between.

you showed my a new world
and i'm not thanking you
because now it's all messed up
there are rainbows and colors in between colors
and i didn't ask for that!

i thought that
yeahh everything would be okay
because you would be here to show me around
but there were one problem
you were the definitions of "almost".