(read forward, then backward, line by line)

I ran.
Not knowing what else to do
There was so much blood on my hands
It was mine
The kitchen knife
Caught in my chest
Guilt
Consumed by
Fear
I was heightened by
Adrenaline
But running on
Wasn’t enough
While trying to stay calm,
Losing control
It was me that would end up
Dead. Because
He was
In front of me
The whole time
It was too late
Trapped
I found myself
Locked in chains
My fate was
Death.

Drowning refugees,

sailing to the other side --


of their hope, their dream.

ive fallen out of love.
ive slaughtered an innocent bird that has settled into my hands by nothing short of grace
ive lynched a light and suffocated it into an oppressive darkness
ive fallen out of love.
i dont care if i have to drain out the hemorrhage youve set in
it does not matter to me if its rare or beautiful
if youre a thrashing  typhoon in my lungs,
an atelectasis will naturally expel you
i fell out of love, and there's nothing for me but to exorcise you

is it the way you smile,
the way your booming laugh
infects me and encapsules me

is it the smile, the corners of your lips
taking the shape of a heart,
washing me over with inexplicable endearment

or maybe it's the way your voice
controls me like the tides,
making my body tingle as you wish,
silvercapped tongue that toys with my mind

perhaps it's your body,
the way your silhuette was designed to
make me feverish and aching for it
to endlessly yearn for your touch,
or yearn to touch

i ponder and try to outline which of these things it is that has me captivated

intoxicated by your whole being,
i'm left wondering

a double rainbow,
embroidered the sky
reaching its way to the shore
entangling with the foam
on the border of a land and water

i wonder why the first thought
that etches to my mind
is a hue of a ghost, standing by,
shoulder to shoulder
like the double rainbow
we share our archs

our souls bend together,
yet we're so far apart

i wonder what kind of face
you'd make, would you smile
would your eyes gleam,
would they reflect the colors
of the sky?
or swallow it all, the way your being swallowed me?

i wonder do the rainbows, alike
yearn for each other
do they wish to entwine,
do they wish to reach a shared equilbrium?

the rainbows eventually disappear
the rain droplets cease, yet the
shadow of your silhouette remains
in the corners of my mind