There's something frightening in you,
and I've always been attracted to the things that scare me most.
I guess you could call it a counterphobic attitude.

Just as all these words are meant for ghosts.

But I'm sick of the sound of crunched eggshells,
and the elephant in the room leaves me crowded.

So hand me that broom;
this dust is being swept under the carpet.

I can not describe how good it feels to fall asleep in your arms.
But I will try to anyways...
Sleeping next to you is what I imagine death will be like.
Now I know that sounds harsh, but think of it this way.
Whenever I lay next to you, my heartbeat slows down bit by bit.
My eyes close and my mind finally stops running.
I feel safe and loved and that's how I would want my death to be.
But sleeping next to you is also very dangerous.
It is like an addiction to me.
Because everytime I sleep next to you, it gets harder to fall asleep on my own.

I want my words to be beautiful.
Beautiful like yours.
I want to see ordinary things,
Find the magic in them,
And put the magic on a page, for everyone to understand.

I want to have a way with words.
I want every poem of mine
To become a masterpiece.
Just like yours.

I am not broken.

But you are.

You see the world through pain,
And pain makes the colors brighter.
It makes the value of feelings
Climb higher.

Sometimes I wonder
If I should be broken like you
If I want my words to resonate
Like yours.

Sometimes I wonder,
If it will be truly worth it
In the end.

I wonder what it will be like,
To cut myself up to pour out the beauty inside me.

Just like you.

I imagine that you
Raise the blade
Slice your feelings open
And write your masterpiece
In red.

Someday,
I would finally stop
writing about you.
Someday,
you won't have
that kind of power
over me anymore.

I am still afraid
to look you in the eyes
I know it has been months
and I tell myself, I tell everyone

the hurt in my heart is fading
the scars on my heart are only skin deep

but I am still afraid
to look you in the eyes
and remove the walls I built up
because I know you will see

the hurt lingering in my eyes
the pain I try to hide behind my smile

and I am still afraid
to look you in the eyes
because I might find out
that you don't care anymore