i begin to run
from the very thing
that i am

one.

the chase begins
a fight between
mind and body

two.

i suffer the inability to comprehend
the world and myself
my enemy is gaining control

three.

i lose my thoughts
i have lost the ability to
once love

four.

i punch the mirror
of myself
for words scrawled
hold an empty truth

five.

it never been there  all along
it had only been
myself

(b.d.s.)

my mind is a wasteland of negative thoughts
self-pity, resentment, and fear-- they bury themselves
deep in my mind slowly decomposing, but sometimes are
reborn when I feed them

I would be consumed by dark self destructive thoughts
that would eat me away from the inside, if it was not for my heart sorting and purifying my negative thoughts into good intentions that grow into thoughtful actions to help others

I always thought I could think my way out from the hell I created, but what really freed me is allowing my heart to sing

I needed the help of others who survived their own wastelands
to believe my song was worth singing, their voices carried me
until I found my own melody bubbling inside of me

my heart sings to remember not to loose hope, and reach out to others

why are we so obsessed
with fixing ourselves
or finding someone else who will

we're not puzzles
or riddles
or broken

we're not really lost
we're wandering
we are travellers

we're neither things
we are human
we are feelings

we don't need someone to
complete us
or fix us

stop trying to convince yourself
that you need for someone
to replace that loneliness

darling,
light a fire
and let yourself feel the warmth

may your song break through
the darkness of the night
and welcome the dawn

may your song give hopeless hearts
a taste of wondrous beauty
that touches even darkened souls

sipping my morning coffee
as you gently slumber in our bed
with life growing inside of you

we have a home with one another,
which is something I never dreamed of.

this sense of peace started with me asking help out of great silence, so I could awaken to your love