miscommunication based on fear
destroyed the fragile buds
of friendship
or more

what was once a smile
so bright and so warm
is now a look
of sadness

losing the opportunity
to show the depths
of my sincerity
physically hurts

so I pretend like all is well
like nothing happened
and save my tears
for when I'm alone

The beauty in your eyes
erupts as volcanos
vomiting oil paints
into moonlit darkness

Some small, some low
Some high, some more
Misleading & misguiding
Your need, want
And desire.

Anticipating in assurance
Yours expectations are built
And ignoring all disappointments,
Your craving your carve.
Mere fantasies, so uncertain
So unrealistic.

Getting back the unexpected
You progress in and within it
Play tricks and lure your mind,
But a doubt stands out
Who's expectations are you living for?

There is no time to lose, to please.
Let life surprise you!

Waiting
For the end
To fall
And the beginning
To start.

Waiting
For the hope
To light
My heart, my soul
My will.
As the darkness
Is on its way
To establish
Its supremacy.

The fire in you
The fiery orange
Overshadowed
In remote
Wilderness
But
You're still
Waiting

Waiting
For the sun
To rain
And the rain
To shine.

i was greiving a person who hadnt died
but who forgot about my pressence
made me vanish from thier intrests

the twisted thing to this game that we played
you lost me with a sense of releif
i went away with lust for you
i wanted you back
i sat in my room awake until 4am writing about my insanity
soaked my sadness with *****

i sat on the roof in the cold twice bacause inside could not contain me
my music blasted at its highest dose of treatment but did not cure me

loneliness has sunk in like the sun sunk beneath the skyline at 7:30pm
like how your tounge sunk between my teeth when you wanted me for the night
my needy hands grabbed and tugged at you and your cold selfish hands needed them back for awhile
you got tired of me

She climbs on top,
She has lied in waiting for too long
Her gorgeous smile infatuates me
She is shining so much, I do not recognize the gleam is coming not from Her eyes,
but from Her knife.

how stupid to think that She would bow down to me.
how selfish to believe a simple me, could tame a wild Her.

She found weakness in my humanity,
She found strength in my pride-
She fed off both-
even as She watched a rapid red river rush from my neck,
She lapped as a parting gift from that gorgeous mouth that crawled on top

Only when you are here
do I truly fear,
If what I say or do next
will scare you away
or have you stay.

I'm so scared that every time you come near
I'm afraid of what you might hear
come out my unholy mouth
that is unworthy to speak while you are around
so unworthy, I'm afraid to utter a sound.

I fear that you'll find
that whatever it is you look for in me will scar your mind.

I am not that man, that good man that you now see,
I will never come close to being half the man you need me to be.

So silently I sit,
alone and afraid,
scared of the mess
that has yet to be made.

Because when you're around do I appear to be good
but my dear, my darling, my friend of mine I'm misunderstood.
For in fact I am not a good man, even though I may do good things,
I am a bad man, even though I buy you petty stuff, and pretty rings.

Just because when you're around, do I do good things,
but don't take me for a good man.

Don't take me...
I'm no good.