i was made to love
such was my programming.
but every system has flaws
and when my love catches fire
and blazes into the sky
pulling my heart out with it
i retreat
i get scared
how do i love again
when it has cost me so much
how do i deny my makings
when there is a glitch in the system
how do i fix myself
when the damage has been done by foreign hands
there are no instructions
at least not in a language i understand.
no one can help me
but
me.
but i dont trust myself anymore
and so i am stuck.
i try to be loving
i try to go back
but in trying i am hurting
because you dont deserve it
because i put myself at risk again anyway

Fluorescent lighting
Burning into my corneas
Déjà vu strikes again
Heart under feet
Mind on my sleeve
I miss you

Place me inside
Four sides all equal in size
Stare at me
Under the starry skies
On display for only you to see
Where strange, captive animals can never be free.

Beyond the horizon
a quiet evening waits
for dusk to engulf her in his arms.

For in the dusk's caress
the evening finds
her nights of starry charm.

Her eyes whisper the twinkling
of tear-dipped tidal sound
His breath echoes a million promises
wrapped in love abound.

He takes the moon and plants it on her
Like a kiss of morning dew
And she glows with the light of a thousand fireflies,
Blooms like a rose anew.

i want to
stand in the sun
with you

i want us to live
out of hotels
off room service
have your arms be
my private bungalow
where I never dream afraid
only leaving to
feel the grainy sand
beneath our wet feet
and entwined nakedness

i miss our crooked summer sleep
you know,
the one where our limbs
sinew
to the point that
no one knew
whose limbs were their own
the one where
you cupped my breast
all night &
pressed against my back
with your breath
warming my neck
and turning me on
at
the
same
time

i want to stand
in the sun with you
& leave everyone else
standing in the dark
stench of everyday
let them be buried
beneath the hustle
of daily life

come
follow me
to a hideaway
where wrapped in each others arms
we’re free from limitations

our own private place


don’t you get it?
you’re my
island escape.

We are crying--laughing.
Uncorked the bottle.
Can't undo
Don't want to
Sorry. Pour me one
Or four. Sitting on the floor.
Pull me into bed--it's already done
And it's fun
Can't undo
Don't want to.