Childlike in wonder and awe
I stare at the stars above.
Wondering what's out there,
Possibly staring back.

I make a wish as a star shoots by
Hoping that it’ll come true.
But clouds roll in and changes the view
To something I don’t recognize.

sometimes i watch the stars cry,
i watch the clouds turn gray,
and the sun to blue.
sometimes i watch the world run cold.
the rivers run dry,
the oceans waves level out,
the lakes stop rippling.
the world stops, and it breaks my heart.

i hate seeing you in pain.

When the waves peaked
the sunlight broke
through their belly,
filling the undertow
with stained glass,
blues, and greens.
At the foot of
something holy,
you felt like a child.
If you still
spoke to a God
you would have
done it then.
Instead, you scribbled
short prose
onto wrinkled
receipt paper,
released them
into the ebb.
You thought,
this sadness,
like the ocean,
belongs to all of us now.

I watch the daylight as it creeps across my wall,
it moves slowly, like a dying animal that
wants to live as badly as it has already wished to disappear.

I am bad impersonation of the person I was the day before;
like playing telephone with my body, or becoming a photocopy,
my true self has already begun wane.

-
You recount in detail the three old ladies
outside of the diner,
how you listened in as they  
described the sky to one another.
One traced the swirls of the clouds
with trembling hands;
you thought it so beautiful,
you could have cried.
-
The record player is spinning the blues
through a gravelly veil.
I anticipate the moment
you lift your hand to your heart,
and exclaim:
"I love this next line!"
-
Sadness creeps in late through
your living room window
like the moon diving
into the ocean;
a wave of grief consumes you,
violent and unforgiving,
as you pour us another glass of
cheap white wine.
-
I feel like a thief in the night
when I think about you
on the train ride home,
as city blocks turn to fields,
and back to blocks again.
There is something blasphemous
about seeing you so clear.

Elliott is 10 today, a decade passed like the blink of an eye, yet I feel like I have loved him forever, time is funny like that. He’s closer to adult now than baby on my lap; a thought too achy to process. His toy box sits untouched most days, sometimes I’ll see him pick up an action figure he used to love, and there will be a slight spark in his eye, but it’s gone as fast as it comes. From his room, I can hear him laughing while watching cartoons. I cling to these fleeting moments of his childhood, imprint the sound of his wild boy laugh, commit it to memory, and understand that time only passes this fast when you love this hard. I am happy to love you so, my dear, let the years pass, fast as they may.

Time carves us all from the inside,
people recognize faces
but do not realize no one
is who they were the day before.
Every loss, every victory, chipping pieces off
like tiny stones quietly slipping over the edge.
Sometimes I want to wear my growth
Like a new dress.
Sometimes I want to share my scars
Like a name tag,
have you call me by my real name,
let the world love me without judgement.
No one escapes pain, so what’s the point in small talk.
We all share a bed with the shape of everything we’ve ever lost,
so I don’t want to talk about the weather.

i trust in you and you love me
forever protected, the umbrella
maybe i'm scared, here and there
i, then, close my eyes and speak to you

you, then, answer me and calm me
we don't need any poetry, God
it's you and me, it's you and me...
YOUR SON, Mikey, Tizzop, Max

protect my mom and my dad,
my brothers and sisters
Elias, Christoph, Katharina, Chris,
Alin and Valerie, Andreas, Dennis

Nicholas, Eden, Beza, Milly, Janet,
Albin, Richard, Robin, Davis, Gisi
and their LOVED ONES. FOREVER.

i do thank you from the bottom of
my heart and my soul.
forever yours, Mikey, Tizzop, Max

to love a person, is a risk
rejecting this risk, means to
reject love -- what does this mean?

i love a girl called milly
she likes her cousin and
sometimes, i'm scared

imagining her soft skin
these hands, touchin
anotha dude; FUCKK!

but i be good, my friendz
cause i called popz
his old voice calmed me

my popz has become a real
friend by now; he's experienced
listen to dem old ones

you be good, too..