a freckled face:
sharp and dark eyeliner outline
the brand new skies in her eyes
and i wish i could capture the moment
she smiled at me for the first time

a strong personality:
her mother taught her
to dance in the space between
being vulnerable and guarding her heart
and i wish i could capture the moment
she took me to that place for the first time

a gracious heart:
strawberry cheeks and fits of laughter
fill the void in my bones
giving me the best kind of chest pains
and i wish i could capture the moment
she referred to me as her "best friend" for the first time

i think everyone deserves someone like the honeybee
someone who is fierce but gentle
someone who you could never find in anyone or anything else
someone who should always be followed by a round of applause
someone who plants happiness with each step
and watches it bloom around her little town

you are a champion and you help me to see that i am one too
you encourage the best parts of me, abby

i hope that i do the same for you

there is anticipation and excitement
when a song fluctuates into a higher key
and the bass line brings about a certain groove
that all of a sudden
you find yourself feeling greedy for more and more of it

that feeling of a heart happily sinking to the bottom
is your gift to me
when i catch you looking first

there is anticipation and excitement
when a story flows so smoothly with each turn of the page
and your eyes can't keep up with the pace of your curiosity
that all of a sudden
you find yourself feeling greedy for more and more of it

that feeling of a heart wandering through a sky of possibilities
is my gift to you
when you catch me looking first

it is a mutual state of mind where the two of us are wondering
where can i go with this?

where?

i haven't met someone who made me want
to write so badly
in a long, long time

this morning i woke
the same way you did
lonely never
in a box i have made my home

you go by with your day like you always do
holding onto what is innocent
and smiling sweetly at those who pass by
you don't say hi unless they do
you timidity is showing, dear
it's so awkward on me
but endearing on you

we both are fragile extension lines
on the streets
that taper and adjust
to whatever the winds may bring

this night you wore a sweater
and i stayed up a little later only to see
if the off chance of you stopping by
would stop by

it's a quarter past
Cinderella losing her glass slipper
and my priorities are exponential
yet all the encompasses my mind
is your kindness
and how it glows in the dark

i hunger for answers
although we both may be soft-spoken
i wouldn't mind the screaming
as long as it had meaning
as long as it mended to the broken

but you are older
and wiser and smarter
and more experienced
than my little heart is

still i ask, where would this take us if it could?

i ask God to hear me breathing
to hear my singing
and wondering

if i am breathing, there is no time to waste
if i am singing, then i am on my way
to something beautiful and grand and new
and if it is in His plan, then it will be you

all this is simple mush
fluff in its raw form
half of the time i don't even know
exactly what it is i am trying to convey
it isn't something that we have to say
it is silent but it is recognized
for you said it all with your eyes

slowly falling i am
drooping to the middle
and climbing uphill again
until my cup fills again
it won't be half empty for too long

after all,
we both are fragile extension lines
on the streets
that taper and adjust
to whatever the winds may bring

it's never an easy game
i could buy out
all the books of secrets
i could memorize
every single tiny cheat code
and nothing would help me
understand why you are there
with her
rather than here
with me
i've convinced myself that
"there's always someone else"
always, always, always
it makes me wonder if i will ever
find a man that will
willingly harmonize with me
singing
"you are the only one for me"
*never, never never

and here in my past week
an entire universe has been modified and shifted

it's all still vaguely familiar though
i remember all the pathways like the back of my hand

you see,
no matter how often i fight myself on this
and no matter how often i  stare at that map, seeking a different way

they have all led back to you

so to think that maybe we were both a bit timid at first
ignites a warm fire

these flames that lace my nerves
electrify and superimpose onto a neon background
and they fill this empty bed when i feel weightless

you called a name
and it took me a moment
to comprehend
that it was mine

you told me
that i had exceptionally dark eyes
and asked if i knew how to dance

if only you knew that meeting you
was an event for the books
a milestone, in fact

little moments replay
on this continuous loop
that i wouldn't dare take any bribe to stop watching

exchanges that one would normally dismiss
or not think anything of
are so
so
significant to me

little memories have this habit of whispering,
"hey. i happened."

i listen for your song
time and time again

and never before have i wanted there to be silence so bad

How heavy are these words unspoken:
It's almost as if I disregarded
All the weight of the world
Already on my hollowed shoulders

I've found my new hold of home
And despite a pulsing contentment that makes more than sense,
I'm still catching my muffled thoughts
Request your attention;
It's that kind of imagining
That feeds off tunnel vision
And brief but meaningful exchanges

It's that kind of
"Where have you been all my life
and why can't you be a part of it now?"
That performs like automatic transmission
And interprets a second of a glance
As a spark of a chance.

The damage is done, I suppose
Nothing could really burn worse
Than what the flames have already touched

You have your ice princess
With her glistening curls
And bright, beautiful eyes
To cool you down when
Your temper begins to scorch

...

And it isn't me.

How heavy are these words unspoken:
It's almost as if I had disregarded
Any pinch of this mysterious mess that is romance
Counteracts
My sturdy, broad, broad shoulders

sweet downfall,
i find myself crashing harder than the time before

i'm chasing what i've romanticized,
a false interpretation that
his smile was the only source of light in my mind's darkest crevasses,
his eyes were full of an expected curiosity
but i've learned not to lean on my own understanding

he pulled streams from my eyes without awareness,
and he keeps these tides continuous

it seems like i can't get the image
of sitting in the passenger seat,
watching the lights of the traffic signals
reflect on his face,
camouflaging his blushing cheeks
out of my head of distorted dreams
and impossible realities

i lean in until i wake up

he is oil,
i am water,
somehow the laws of the universe
prohibit us from ever meeting.

one of us is handling that predicament
better than the other.