One is for Love
        The other is for Pain

One is Forgiving
        the other is for Blame

One is Happy
         While the other is Troubled

Whatever happens to One
         The affect becomes Doubled
              

One plays the lute
           As the other beats a drum

One enjoys sweetness
          For the other will have none

One enjoys the ocean,
         while the other prefers the coast

One loves to listen
       while the other loves to boast
              


One has faith
         The other has themself

One is an open book
        While the other stays on the shelf


One loves to write
         The other loves to walk

One loves to sing
          As the other loves to talk


This life isn't balanced or even close to stable
When they both reach for the chips on the table

But both share something
that can never be changed or erased
The person standing between them
who knows how to look both ways.

I want to drown you so I can forget your face,
Pretend like you never existed here
because being here means you are real,
and this reality has broken something I once had ,
leaving me suffocating in my own silence

For the sands of time should be non-existent
as it’s abilities cannot be changed for just one love,
a love that can be forgotten but never altered,
a desire that can never be tamed but only burn brighter

And finally comes my downfall in this bottomless pit,
where only I stand alone in regret and solitude
For the fault here is mine,
For requiring something I cannot take,
rather only something that can be given with sincerity

But to leave this with dignity is too far gone to ask,
A wish of mine that can never be realised,
a pursuit of mine that can only be a paradox
instead of a fixed truth or reality

The unknown silence is killing me.

you look me in the eyes and you tell me i don't know what i'm doing but i fire back with a tongue that can lash every single wound you thought was healed open that no, you don't know what you're doing

sure, i may look at you the way the sun stretches across this city and clings onto every ray of grass it can find, and your body imprint in my bed and my memory is perhaps always going to be there, but that does not mean i cannot fall out of love with you

to the boy who will break my heart undoubtedly, know that i will try to break yours first, even though i will ultimately probably fail

know that i will try to kiss every other stranger i can find in attempts to wash out the taste of your perfect lips from mine, know that i will drink to the bottom of every glass they hand me to try to erase the feeling of skin on skin, the feeling of sweat combining and combusting into a deep, fiery love

i won't lie when i tell you that every glass of wine we drank together was an attempt for me to separate myself but you go one step back and i step two steps forward; maybe i will always be the girl that was stuck inside of your head for the early days of december when my looks and my om attracted something in you that not even your relationship status could ignore, maybe something inside of me convinced you that i was different

but, dear boy, know that you - you are not a man, and you still have a long way to go to reach that illustrious status you so badly want to claim

know that when you grab parts of my body i never knew existed, know that when you let me build a home inside of your eyes and your hands, know that when you kiss me innocently or not, that you would never do this if you were a man, because men

well, they wouldn't let me watch them break my own heart

I have become
reticent
each year adding dark
to my lightness
I remember vaguely when
I radiated
it was not so long ago

now the rock
retribution etched
settles solid on my chest
I cannot see
the feather I once was
drifting from this high place
faith the air beneath me

balanced where
edge meets air  
above the green unfolding
alpine jewels reveal
the face
of the goddess
sleeping

clouds seep ragged
a softly closing circle
I am riding
the cloud center
trees dripping
bearded lichen
witness my ascent