I don't feel special,
I'm not unique.
I want to cry
but I can't even speak.
My hands reach out,
but they cannot hold
a single thing
but the bitter cold.
Everything's frozen,
I feel lost.
Even my tears
have turned to frost.
When I cut my waist
it bleeds black.
I'm so deeply gone
there's no way back.
This is goodbye

Your love is like a fresh breath of Spring,
it gives me energy and a will to live.
Your kiss falls as a leaf upon my lips in mid Autumn
and pours down into my heart like a waterfall.
Winter wraps itself around your eyes
and snowflakes dance in your soul.
Your skin is warm like the Summer sun,
and when you touch me, my love is reborn again and again.
The moon pulls us together and pushes away stress,
it moves an ocean of emotion through our veins.
You are a breath of Spring
with the kiss of Autumn,
decorated with frozen eyes and a careful soul,
blessed with warm skin
and an aura that pulls others in.
And because of all of this,
I am in love.

Society is evil
And terribly hollow.
We are lost today
And forgotten tomorrow.

In a world of hate
and artificial love,
the most aware
see no savior above.

You cannot argue,
for I have seen
the deadly epitome
of Reality.

Slaves to Society
may hold us down;
but they will never
deafen our sound.

We have been broken
too many times;
so with tortured hearts,
forever we will fight.

Have you ever drowned before...?
Have you ever been scared that you might?
Have you felt the water wash over your face,
and watched as mid-day fades to night?
That is what depression feels like.

It starts with swimming too far out
and suddenly realizing you're caught in the waves.
But before you even begin to drown,
the panic settles in as you picture your grave.

You cry out for help,
and struggle for one deep breath,
but the waves are strong
and the water is deaf.

You start to reminisce
about all the memories shared
with the ones you love so much.
You realize that you're scared.

At this point as you're drowning,
all hope seems to have disappeared.
Now you await death alone,
thinking your conscious is clear.

But instead of deadly waves,
It's just you and a gun.
You think this is where the drowning ends,
but it's only just begun.

Despite the pain of yesterday,
I plaster a fake smile;
And though I'm good at hiding it,
My sanity remains on trial.

For a moment I was happy
For a moment I was married
For a moment I had will to live
For a moment I felt like a Queen.
And in only just a moment
I lost everything

I roll over in the mornings,
and your face is no longer there.
I reach out to touch what used to be,
but my fingers are greeted by empty air.
When I pull the blankets up,
there's a hint of your once lively cologne.
And now, when I'm cold at night,
I pull the comforter up to my nose, so I'm not alone.

Our love is deep as Death,
I can feel it in every breath.
The pain, the hurt, the tears
I could die with you for years.

A single kiss from your lips
is something so poisonous.
I'd take your heart from your chest
if it didn't mean eternal death.

Bleed with me,
With no shelther.
Feeling so tortured
has never been better.
We'll fear,
cry,
run,
die.
But at least
we'll be together.

I wish I could feel
with this empty heart.
In search for love,
I've torn it apart.
In these hands,
the colour leaks.
and in my soul
I hear death speak.

Show me where you're insecure,
I will kiss it where it bleeds.
Open up to me where it hurts
and let me tend to your needs.

I will talk to each of your voices,
I will know them each by name.
Once you've had a taste of my love,
you can never be the same.

When you see the demonic monsters
I will feed them all my food,
They deserve my love and care
because they are real to you.

I will not say it isn't real,
or scold you for what you can't control.
Melt into my open arms,
for it's your fears that I will hold.

The sun writes me letters of love
with ink made of the purest gold.
Though I wish not to admit the truth,
it is my heart she gently holds.

My fingers yearn to caress her body,
her touch deteriorates my concrete walls.
Years on years I've protected myself,
yet at her sight, I embrace the fall.

My world trembles when she's not near,
and now it breaks apart.
She slipped through my fingertips
and burned away my heart.

In the mist that veils a mountain's peak,
Where snow-kissed heights in silence speak,
Our beauty, like the fog's embrace,
Yet in our hearts, a chill we trace.

I once perceived myself a perilous land,
Yet you, with love, like an artist's hand,
Paint beauty on this treacherous terrain,
Where danger dwells, you find no disdain.

In the somber air, where shadows weep,
Frozen tears upon emotions steep,
You grasp my hand with gentle force,
A warmth in cold, a comforting course.

We tread on paths where frost may bite,
Yet, entwined, our souls take flight,
For in the risk of love, we find,
A refuge sweet, our hearts combined.

Dear me,
I write to you to say goodbye.
This life is gone, no need to cry.
It's okay, you won't be missed;
whatever you're feeling will be dismissed.
We have no one to tell
except for ourselves,
what pain we've endured
behind closed doors.
I wish I could say it will be alright,
but I'm afraid this is our last fight.
goodbye,
sincerely,
me

There are mountains on my back,
and it hurts like hell to carry them.
I was supposed to only climb...
but I never really was one for climbing.

I wish that I could bring you back,
to that one point in time.
So that I could kiss your forehead
and tell you it'll all be fine.

To hold your hand in mine,
and wipe away your tears.
But when I reach out to find you,
All I can grasp is my deepest fear...

The fear that you're gone.
The kind of gone that you can't come back from.
I blame it on myself,
and drown it all in ***.

You would have been here
when I broke my own heart.
You wouldn't have done what I did,
you wouldn't have let me part.

I betrayed you.
And now I need you.
But all I have is your tombstone
and I fear my life has taken on a dark hue.

I want to touch your face,
be there for each other one last time.
Now all I can do is pace
and wish I was there to say goodbye.

I lay in bed, missing you
and place my hand where you used to lay.
Without you here, I'm lost inside
my heart knows only pain.

There was a time where I would cry
and turn to use your shoulder.
But now I share you with the country,
because you are a soldier.

You may defend the greater good,
and always fight for what is right;
I will share you with the world,
but your heart is still mine.

Where I am most insecure,
his fingertips caress my skin.
When I whisper his name,
he responds with a kiss.

Where bruises and scars stain my flesh,
his love washes away the sin.
The memories that still hurt my soul
he brushes away with his lips.

Like beautiful cursive letters,
he draws lines of love on my body that heals
and he writes a scripture of lust
that only he can read, and only I can feel.

They say the eyes are the windows to the soul,
but your dark iris's and heart prove to be cold
and barren of love, or life, or hope.

I took the knife from your back with care.
With gentle touch, I stitched the tear
to reveal a secret unbelievably rare.

A smile broke on to your face,
leaving my heart to shatter and break.
For that split second my soul shall always ache.

Your words echo in my mind
and flow through my body at high tides.
"You will be safe, and we will be happy"
We kissed and you said goodbye to me.
For three months, we didn't see each other.
You became what my heart longed most for.
My letters to you were stained with tears,
three months felt like years.
Hidden emotions became magnified,
my love for you was stronger than I had realized.
We finally got to kiss just one more time,
before, again, we said goodbye.

My heart leaks through my fingertips
and drips onto the page.
There is pain, hurt and there is despair,
I can't put on a pretty face.

When I was trapped in the ground,
he made it feel like I could fly.
But his love is different,
because it came with a price.

Soon I learned that flying...
it's impossible.
An ugly truth hid behind a gorgeous lie.
We weren't indecomposable.

Black liquid flows from my eyes,
I remember when they were clear.
But when I look in the mirror,
the worst has come - I fear.

Though everything feels dead,
I am still alive.
My soul feels like it's burning.
This is what it means
to die inside.

pink and red
with some white too
fill up my body
till Im red and blue
they mar my skin
in all shades
my body has seen better days
pink and red
with some white too
they cover my skin
never fade
they will do

- Written By Emmaleah Shibley

It's odd how bad we hurt each other,
but fight to keep it all together.
We're so in love, but you're full of hate.
Is it truly hard to predict this fate?

Will anger consume your gentle heart?
Will he cut away and tear us apart?
Or are you stronger than this and will you make us last?
Are we really deteriorating away so fast?

God I knew I should've left.
I shouldn't have even held your gaze.
You have stupid and ugly beautiful blue eyes.
I shouldn't have
I just shouldn't.
Shouldn't have gone to the bar,
Shouldn't have wiped that one tear from your face.
Shouldn't have accepted your comfort.
I shouldn't have fallen for you.
EVERYTHING was done right.
I kept it simple and friendly,
no dancing in the rain.
No laughing in the night.
It took one night on vulnerability to break down my walls.
I'm trying so hard to rebuild them,
I don't want to be close to you.
I don't want to be close to you or anyone else.
Every time I build my walls,
I put in the effort for it.
Each brick I cement into place...
Do you think it's easy for me to push you away?
It's not.
None of this is easy for me and yet here you are,
flicking bricks away from my walls as if they were paper.

What is depression?

Well...

It's not always so obvious.
Depression hides

It's staying up until 4 a.m
without a reason.

Depression is crying until your pillow is soaked
without really knowing why.

When your heart is hurting so bad,
you can FEEL the pain in your chest.

It's not always a knife
dragged on once pure skin.
Depression isn't the cut,
it's the darkness that hides within.

It's knowing that one day you'l be happy,
but not knowing if you'll get there in time
to save yourself
to save your mind.

Depression is hoping you'll be okay,
but not believing happiness is in your future.

It's wanting to cry out for help
but not knowing what you need help with.

It hides in anxiety,
and shows itself in smiles.
It'll lie to your face
and you'll believe it.

We all do.

I know he's made mistakes,
I understand he isn't fair.
But he makes my sunken heart fly
when his fingers travel through my hair.

His lips are stained with broken hearts,
His soul is tainted with their tears.
I know it's wrong and it will hurt,
but my body wants him near.

Do you want to know how you broke my heart?
You played with it until it fell apart.
You took it in your hands,
and then you took it to your advantage.

When you were please or satisfied,
you'd leave it alone to die inside.
When you were angry or mad,
you threw it away with everything you had.

Our love was just a bunch of leases,
you folded my heart until I couldn't iron out the creases.
You make me feel like I deserve this abuse and pain,
but you know what? I still what to try again.

It will be the last time I get hurt
until tomorrow
It will be the last time I fall for a ****
until tomorrow
I swear to never disrespect myself again
until tomorrow
I promise to no more inflict my own pain
until tomorrow.

I swear I will hold my pride
I will stand it on my empty lies
that somewhere beneath these knotted ties
is a girl that truly relies
on herself for love.
She relies on tomorrow.

He kisses me twice
because I hate odd numbers.
He puts his hand on my leg when he drives
because my hand anxiously grips the handle above the door.
He holds my head to his chest
even though my fists beat against him.
He puts aside his problems
when I am hyperventilating.
And now he is gone.
He's someone else's.
Someone who doesn't care if one is an imperfect number,
someone who can smile in a car going 60 miles per hour,
someone who's anxiety doesn't resort to violence,
someone who can breath.
I miss him so much
I miss him so much that I lock the door once.
I drive my own car to the spot we used to park to relax.
I take deep breaths when my head is a mess to remember what it felt like to breath into his chest.
She doesn't know what it's like to need him.
I don't know what it's like to only want him.
He doesn't know what it's like to be free.

The beating of my heart thumps like a song,
It's broken and it's shattered,
but i know it's never wrong.
My words are heartbreak poured into letters;
the poems and stories leak like music,
sometimes violent and sometimes in patterns.
You may think because I left, I don't care.
But through moonlight sonatas to ripping earth quakes,
I'd love you anywhere.
You were hurting me in ways beyond just fighting.
Forget your words, just your mindset alone
rips through my body like blue lightning.
I hope we'll come back together anyway,
you're better than this and I know it.
I was brought up to know in any storm, to have faith.

I thought I'd finally clawed my way out
of the darkest reaches of my mind.
But as the cold suffocates me again,
I touch what I left behind.
My soul breaks and pours away,
it leaks from my fingers for everyone to see.
It escapes through my eyes, my hair, my chest;
and still, we all ignore how it bleeds.
How can I ask for help when I've been here before?
They've all seen me fall, watched when I cried.
How do I ask for someone to pull me out,
when it isn't even their fight?
I'm told to just keep going,
but I just don't know how to survive.
My heart burns away into a black hole,
Why even try if I've already died?
Where was the world when I needed it?
The help is long overdue.
If death is what they mean by it'll eventually be okay,
I guess what they say is true.

My heart did not belong to you.
It was not yours to take.
As a married woman, abused or not,
I was loyal.
Like a dog.
Collared and fed,
but kicked and left outside...
all while he would play with other puppies at the pound.
You touched me once,
and we both should've been with others.
Once is all it took for me to realize
I'm human.
I am sad, and broken, and healing.
I'm human.
My heart was not Yours to take,
and though you haven't claimed it
I'm glad You are the one that stole it.
Whether it be for a gorgeous, burning moment of desire,
or the rest of our lives.
I'm glad You are the one that holds it.
Because I am human.
I can change who I am loyal to.
I chose you,
whether it be for a gorgeous burning moment of desire,
or the rest of our lives.

Your eyes are glazed and cold
and I can tell you need to cry.
Silent tears stain your soul
but you'll never tell me why.
Standing in front of your warm smile,
I see with more than just my eyes.
No one around us seems to notice
the brokenness you hide.
The world took something beautiful
and tortured it's fragile soul.
You've become a crucible
for toxicity to behold.
Just once, I have a favor to ask.
Lay your head against my chest,
and let go of your mask.

Why do I hope for love?
I've only ever known struggle.
Why do I try to sleep
When I know I'll just wake up in puddles..

Puddles of sweat,
Puddles of tears.
My past haunts my dreams,
I reach for love when I've only known fear.

Love is a fairy tail,
A story told to spark hope.
Now I'm left reaching in the dark,
Wanting to be held but I'll always be alone.

Its time to grow up,
Relationships don't work.
I'm stuck in a cycle,
And I will always hurt.

It's childish to make a wish.
It's stupid to believe.
When will my heart stop yearning
For childhood dreams.

In the depths of shadows, where anguish finds its abode,
A soul awakens, bereft of will to traverse the road.
Born without hope, a vessel crafted in perpetual gloom,
No ember within, no fervor to consume.

Why inhale life's breath if no joy therein resides?
A marionette, a puppet, in apathy's tides.
No purpose, no direction to ardently pursue,
In silence, dwells an unwavering heartache, oh so true.

Yet within this obscurity, where sorrow claims its throne,
A glimmer emerges, as if from dreams far-flung and sown.
A will to endure, to brave affliction's cruel sting,
To tread a path where hope may gradually spring.

The echoes of a smile, long faded from view,
Reside deep within a heart that lingers and seeks what's true.
Through tears, each day is valiantly fought with faltering might,
To unearth a reason, a glimmer of resplendent light.

A solemn dance, to master the weight we bear,
Navigating a world so desolate and unfair.
Though fragile, strength arises from the abyss,
A tender blossom in sorrow's relentless abyss.

For even in the absence of fervent desire's reign,
A flicker persists, refusing to wane.
In every act of resilience, however minute,
Lies the semblance of purpose, albeit undefined and acute.

So let us weep for dreams that falter and fall astray,
And mourn the joy that withers, little by little, day by day.
But know, dear soul, that even amidst despair's chilling breath,
A will to endure, to rise, to strive, defies the grip of death.

Though born without an innate yearning to persist,
The heart can adapt, coexist, in adversity's midst.
In time, perchance, a purpose shall gracefully unfold,
Breathing renewed life into a weary soul, once untold.

In the depths of despair, a shadow lingers,
Eclipsing the sun, suffocating hope's flicker.
A symphony of sorrow, notes heavy and low,
Echo through the chambers of a weary soul.

The weight of existence, an anchor on the chest,
Each breath a labor, a futile conquest.
A mosaic of memories, stained with regret,
Etched on the canvas of a mind distraught.

The world, once vibrant, now a colorless haze,
Drained of all meaning, lost in the maze.
Days bleed into nights, in relentless embrace,
As darkness engulfs, leaving no trace.

The whispers of anguish, a deafening roar,
Concealed beneath smiles, a soul torn and sore.
In solitude's embrace, tears softly cascade,
Falling on wounds that never seem to fade.

Flickering candle of hope, dimmed by despair,
Its feeble glow suffocated by the heavy air.
The void within, an abyss vast and wide,
Aching for solace, longing for respite.

Oh, how the heart mourns, drowning in sorrow's well,
A silent scream within, a story too hard to tell.
The canvas of life, painted with hues so grim,
A masterpiece of melancholy, hauntingly dim.

Yet, amidst the darkness, a sliver of light,
A glimmer of strength to endure the night.
For even in despair's grip, seeds of hope reside,
Waiting to bloom, to heal, to turn the tide.

In this symphony of darkness, there lies a plea,
To find solace within, to set the spirit free.
For only through the depths can one truly rise,
And embrace the light beyond somber skies.

Beneath the endless, velvet shroud,
A soul enthralled in shadows' spell,
She yearned for night, her heart uncowed,
In starry tales, her love did dwell.

Each eve, she'd gaze with longing eyes,
To where the cosmos, vast and high,
Would twinkle in their dark disguise,
Her heart's beloved, the night sky.

With brushes dipped in midnight's ink,
She painted swirls of cosmic rhyme,
Stars and moonlight, stars that wink,
And whispered secrets lost in time.

Her canvas filled with dreams and night,
She danced with shadows, kissed the air,
In each brushstroke, she took flight,
Closer to her love, the sky so rare.

Each constellation told a tale,
Of love that spanned both time and space,
In every stroke, she'd set her sail,
To reach her night sky's warm embrace.

She wore the universe as her cloak,
Stars and moonlight in her eyes,
With every stroke, her love bespoke,
A love that soared in moonlit skies.

In the deep of night, she found her muse,
Her passion burning, her heart a flame,
Her paintings, dreams, and midnight hues,
Her true love's essence, her soul's sweet name.

For in the canvas of the dark,
She'd found a love that would not die,
Her heart entwined with every spark,
In love with the night sky, her endless sigh.

Upon my back, so gently laid,
Touched with a fragile care displayed,
Kisses tender, fearing I might break,
But such intimacy, I find it dull, forsake.

Primal desires ignite my yearning flame,
A hunger for presence, a primal claim,
Eyes pleading, longing to capture my gaze,
Their sole intent, my pleasure to amaze.

For I, not frail, bear Viking lineage bold,
With blood of witches, whose stories are told,
From suffering souls, my being has been shaped,
Born from ashes, resilient and undraped.

My heart won't quicken for mere flowers' bloom,
Nor diamonds shed tears, their sparkle's gloom,
Love me as prey, hunted by famished might,
A predator starved, craving me through the night.

No longer can I bear the gentle touch,
Of a man mild, whose caress is too much,
Iron taste upon my tongue, a primal bite,
Suppressing screams with lips pressed tight.

No muscle-bound man, lifting me with ease,
I'm not a feather, weightless on the breeze,
My figure's curves carry a storied past,
I seek a man of substance, not simple and vast.

The suitor I choose must bear weight and power,
A primal force, igniting passion's devour,
I am no fragile frame, slender and slight,
and therefor need a partner befitting my tempestuous plight.

She hides her bruises, conceals her pain
From a man who once was loving, now insane
He drinks and hits and tears her apart
Leaves her broken and with a shattered heart

But then she finds solace in a friend
Who treats her kindly, makes her heart mend
He listens and cares, never raises his hand
And she begins to feel safe again

She tries to resist, to stay loyal and true
But her husband's abuse is all she knew
And so she falls for his friend's gentle touch
A forbidden love, but one that meant so much

They meet in secret, their passion ignites
A flame that burns bright, but never quite right
For she knows deep down what she's done is wrong
But she can't help but feel that she finally belongs

She leaves her husband, with a heavy heart
And begins a new life, a brand new start
With the man who treated her with such care
And finally finds the love that's always been there

But even as she looks back with regret
She knows she couldn't have lived with that man's threat
And she'll never forget the friend who saved her life
The one who showed her what love was like.

In shadows deep, where hope had fled,
A soul, with demons burdened, led,
She sought to end her pain each night,
But death's embrace remained out of sight.

Her heart was heavy, dreams were frail,
As desperation's cruel, relentless gale,
She wondered why she couldn't part,
From life's oppressive, heavy heart.

Yet, fate had plans, mysterious ways,
In darkness' depths, where sorrow sways,
A precious life within her grew,
A son, her love, her strength renewed.

He arrived, a fragile gift of grace,
A tiny soul, a radiant face,
With every breath, a reason found,
To keep her feet upon the ground.

For in her arms, this fragile child,
With eyes so bright, so undefiled,
She saw a purpose, pure and true,
To guide him, love him, and see him through.

He faced a challenge, a battle, severe,
A disease that brought both pain and fear,
But in her arms, he found his home,
A sanctuary where he'd freely roam.

She realized her purpose, clear and bright,
To be his mother, his guiding light,
To help him grow in strength and grace,
No matter the challenges they'd face.

In the depths of darkness, a love so pure,
A bond unbreakable, they'd endure,
For in her son, she found her way,
A mother's love, to light their day.